bits of sunshine

a thread

sometimes i feel as though i am just hanging on by a thread.  and this morning that thread was awfully frayed.  thank goodness he doesn't take pleasure in snapping the thread, but in binding the frayed bits together and wrapping his arms around me . . . meeting my wild tears with love.

the card on the table . . . it lists projects, work, bills, money, committments, laundry, trash, errands, relatives, car, shopping, in-laws, deadlines, calls, obligations, dishes . . . over and over and over . . . you get the idea.  then in the middle it says "somewhere in the middle of it all . . ." and inside it says, "is a quiet place called love.  i'll meet you there." 

but this morning, the quietness, it was eluding me.  all the other stuff was swirling around threatening to overwhelm me.  and i was trying to make this morning - this 31st birthday morning - beautiful, happy, peaceful.  and instead he had to soothe me.  to calm me.  and now he's off at work in the cold, swirling snow.  i did tell him that i love him.  over and over.  and that i'm so sorry i cried on this morning, his birthday.  and we did give him dark chocolate.  the only treat he eats.  and oh, will he savour it.  and if the snow dies down, we'll go get steaks that i'll do for supper.  with baked potatoes.  and some sort of greens.  his favorite meal.  and we'll call him in a bit and tell him how we love him. 

i'm so grateful for this love.

Happy Birthday, Ben.  Happy Birthday, Love.  Happy Birthday, My Best Friend.  Happy Birthday.

 

a weekend away

a drive that is oh-so-worth-it, to a place that is oh-so-beautiful  

(and for those of you we didn't see {we only saw Ben's family} we love you.  i wish we could have hugged and visited and sipped coffee and thrown rocks with you all.  we needed a quiet weekend, just the four of us.  i know you understand.)

climbing at Gooseberry Falls

 

hiking in the Kadunce Creek

 

 

camping on the shore

 

finding beauty in little things

 

 

and in the big things

 

for two wonderful nights, and three whole days,   just the four of us  

 

taking some deep breaths, 

 

resting in the beauty God has created,  

 

preparing for the project that we started today!

this sweet grandma

we've been spending  lot of time with my grandma since saturday.  she was in the hospital friday night through this afternoon - some strange heart rhythms causing dizziness and weakness - but, i think they are regulated.  today she got to move to my mom and dad's house.  and she is on the mend.  she's been cheerful through it all, and enjoying our reading and singing and visiting.  i know that lots of prayers and visits and songs and kiddo smiles and homemade cookies and good medicine and great doctors and nurses are what has helped her out.  she's got a few good years left in her, i'm sure.  after all, she's only 91.  and one of her dear friends just passed away at 102!  she's definitely got some cookie eating and story listening left to do!

Little Man

 

Thinking back to the beginning . . .

 Benjamin Isaac was born January 18, 2005 at 5:58 p.m.  He was 18 inches long and weighed 5 pounds, 14 ounces.  (He was just over a month early.)

Shortly after he was born,
Isaac took a trip to the NICU,
in a city 2 hours away
from where he was born,
where they worked on his lungs
for a long time and gave him surfactant and lots of oxygen
and special care.

I saw Isaac for a moment before he left.  And in that moment, I had a very strong sense of a huge guardian angel watching over him  and going with him.

Ben brought this picture to me the next day.  I couldn't leave the hospital - I'd had a c-section - so I didn't see or hold my little boy for 2 1/2 days.

Even when he lost weight so he was just over 5 lbs, he was by far the biggest baby in the NICU!

 

 And so a year flew by . . .

Isaac started walking at 17 months; until then, he was the fastest crawler, ever!

2nd Birthday

First catch!

Almost 3 years old.

Last year on this day I wrote ::  And, dear Isaac, now you are 4.  Wow, buddy!  This all goes so fast.  But you are so amazing!  For week or so before your birthday, you were really worried about getting older.  So, I kept telling you all the cool things you are going to get to do the older you get - go to work more often with Dad, go hunting and fishing more often with Dad, learn to read, learn to ride a bike with no training wheels, oh, oodles of stuff.  On your birthday I picked you up and gave you a hug and you, with a HUGE grin on your face, said, "I'm 4.  And you can still hold me!"  Yep.  And I'll hold you in my arms for a long time, and in my heart for ever.

And today I can say - You are 5!  And you've learned to ride a bike without training wheels.  And you are learning to read.  And I can still hold you - even though you are quite a bit taller!  You're still kind of a skinny sort of a guy.  :) And you have learned to ice-skate.  And you are such a thinker.  You have a huge imagination - I love to watch you play. 

 Happy Birthday, Isaac!  May your joy be full - all of your days!

my days are full

full of these fun, happy, silly, smiley, lovely people ::

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

go ahead. smile.  they sure make me smile, too.

very glad to be home

so, i didn't appear here yesterday.
that's because i slept until 10:00 am
so did my kiddos!

i think we had all been pretty stressed
and wound up preparing for my long stay away
that didn't happen.

tuesday night was the most peaceful, deep sleep
i have had in a l o n g time.
it was so good.

when my kiddos and i woke up
we got ready and headed to perkin's restaurant
to share a tremendous twelve - yum!

then we bought Christmas lights for our porch
and we put up the lights while pretty snowflakes
sparkled down around us.

what a perfect day.

Downtown Minneapolis

Old Mill City Museum

My husband

Mill ruins

Walkways through the ruins

This picture is for Liz

Loft apartments, with stars holding the brickwork together

The Mississippi

Us

The Guthrie Theater

One set for the Importance of Being Ernest (Algernon's house in town)

Overlooking the city after the play

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

And a drive home through the dark
Just the two of us

A Few More Birthday Bits

This is the girl we celebrated.
Even though, really, I celebrate her every day.
I told her, in her birthday card,
that God knew I needed a little sunshine in my life
that's why He gave her to me.

So, on to the gifts. :)
I am a gift-giver.
Have you ever heard or read about love languages?
Mine is gifts. I love to give.
And I like to receive, too. :)
Sometimes Ben teases me about this.
But he gets into the gift-giving for our kiddos maybe more? than I do.
So, for this number 6 birthday, Ben got to thinking, and picked out this 

 
(Thank you Amazon for having quality reconditions at budget-friendly prices!)
Her face, when she opened the box was, well,

 

Can you see how happy she was?  Even in the dark?

 

She's taken about 300 pictures already!

 

Lots of funny, random pictures so far.
But we'll work on it!
And by the time we head out on our first real, big family vacation,
she's going to be great at taking beautiful pictures!

The other birthday bit I was going to share with you.
The party favors.

 

This one is Maddie's.
And I made 6 more - half as tall
out of these fabrics

 

(the pinks.  the blue and white is my iron-board cover.)
But did I take a picture of the whole pile when I finished them at 1:30 the morning of the party?
No. :)
I put a lip-gloss and some stickers inside of each one.
And each one went home with a special little girl.
It was fun.

So, here we go.
Into the land of 6 years old and first grade and lots and lots and lots of pictures!

he was very funny

and he was growing taller

how did he get so much taller than my counter?
but he did.  there he is.

but, back to the funny part.
he told me, before bed the other night ::

"once there was a girl named mama.
she kissed me and kissed me and kissed me.
she was very funny."

peaceful

Rock-a-by, rock-a-by lollipop moon
the sun's gone away, and none too soon
for dreamy time flowers are waiting to bloom
so rock-a-by, rock-a-by lullaby moon
                  ~from Carin Berger's book on my sidebar
                    I made up a tune, so I can sing this to my kiddos

Now he thinks he'll go to sleep
I can see the shadows creep
Over his eyes in soft eclipse,
Over his brow and over his lips,
Out to his little finger-tips
Softly sinking, down he goes
Down he goes, down he goes
See, he's hushed in sweet repose
                     ~JGH, Cradle Song

I will lie down and sleep in peace
for You alone, O Lord,
make me to dwell in safety.
                                ~Psalm 4:8
both my kiddos know this verse,
and we say it together if they ever wake
from a bad dream
it seems to really calm them