bits of sunshine

more on "school" at home - and also, blanket forts.

first of all - i started this post one day last week - and it started as a rant.  then i didn't know if i wanted to post a rant.  so i set these words aside.  but, i'm still feeling vaguely rant-y, so, i came back to the words i had written, and changed some and added some and took some away . . . and this is what i've got.  

next - that really great list that i had on our fridge?  (see a few posts back)  that list is now in the trash.  (see the following comment). 

this is currently my life.  our life.  and it (mostly) works.  my kids do better if i am not "on" them all the time.  and i do better if i don't have expectations that i have to oversee happening.  we see each other off and on throughout the day.  i get my work done, they get theirs done.  sometimes they ask me for help.  i'm cool with that.  they've been keeping their rooms clean, eating when they are hungry, exercising at very random times, and watching movies and all of the episodes of Boy Meets World when it is too cold and windy to be outside for long.  we are making the best of it.    

those of us parents who usually send our kids to school are in a whole nother realm right now.   

i used to homeschool my kids.  i picked the curriculum.  i made the plans.  i knew my kids and myself and so i based my decisions on that.  if we did "non-traditional" learning  (otherwise known as unschooling) (otherwise known as letting my kids pick a topic and learn all they wanted to about it) (otherwise known as skipping a day, or days, of school) (otherwise known as home ec), if we did that, it was on me.  it wasn't reflected on a report card. 

now they are home with their school books, and their teachers who are used to putting together classroom lessons are now putting together "distance learning" lessons, and if the kids don't do these lessons, it reflects directly on them.  and on their report card.  some of the teachers are entering zeros as place holders before the assignment is even due - to "encourage" the kids to get the work done and "bring their grade up" - you shouldn't have to bring a grade up for an assignment that isn't even due to be graded yet . . . talk about inducing anxiety and a sense of defeat.  

and many of the teachers have varying ways that they getting information to the kids and that they are requiring them to respond to the information and turn in their work.  there isn't an "across the board" way to do this - partly because not all of the kids have the same way to get information or to turn work in.  some have internet, some don't.  some have chromebooks, some have laptops, some have tablets, some have phones, some have no devices.  some need a paper packet.  some can call a teacher, some can text a teacher, some can email a teacher, some can get into a google classroom.  some kids have parents or siblings who can and will help them with their work.  some kids don't.  some kids can get on facetime with classmates.  some kids can't.  some kids can cope with miniscule amounts of social interaction.  some kids can't.   

at this point in the year, the kids are used to their teachers' particular classroom styles.  the kids are used to their study halls, their study groups, their support networks.  now - that is all either gone or changed.  and yet, there is work that is required and grades being given.  

and so some of the days will be hard.  (or maybe all of the days will be hard).  the advice for that (from homeschool moms and even from some of the teachers {i see the memes you post on facebook!}) is to just put the school work aside and read a book or watch a documentary or play outside or watch TV or play board games or build blanket forts . . . 

and that's all find and dandy.  but it sure can't be too many days.  i can't just tell my kids that it's ok if they are too stressed to do the school work, or that if they can't understand their assignments they can just set them aside.  that might be fine if the kids weren't being graded.  my two high school students have to get their work done and get it turned in.  or they get zeros.  otherwise to be noted on a report card as an F.  

i am hopeful that our high school administrators will continue to work toward making choices that will be good for the kids and for the teachers.  i'm hoping that my kids' motivation holds out for as long as this lasts (probably through the end of the school year).  and in the meantime, maybe we'll just build a blanket fort.     

some sort of school at home

Some of you know that I used to homeschool my kiddos.  Kindergarten through the middle of fourth grade for Maddie, Kindergarten through the middle of third grade for Isaac. 

I am so grateful that we chose that for the years that we did.  There were really good days and  good ideas, and there were really hard days.  But, we did those days together, and I love the memories that we made.  

And now - now we are in this twilight zone that is COVID-19 shelter-in-place or self-quarantine or social distancing.  And we all have our kids home, whether we would have chosen that or not.  And some of us are looking at how in the world to keep our kids doing their school-work, whether they want to or not.  Some of it looks a whole lot like this:

So, I'd like to offer some ideas, for all of us who are suddenly facilitating school at home:

*For the actual work - google and YouTube. Can you find a YouTube video that shows what they need to do on their assignment or worksheet? Let them watch it, then complete their assignment or worksheet.  Maybe you can find the exact assignment or worksheet - that would be super cool. Let them totally work right along with someone else doing their work.

*Pair up with another parent and FaceTime each other's kids to help with homework. I have spent about 20 minutes or half an hour with a friend's son on FaceTime two days last week and again today helping him with Algebra. Somehow, someone who is not the actual parent is easier to listen to, I think. It's working in this scenario! He's getting it and applying what we work on together to the other problems he has to complete.  Pretty sure that both he and I feel good about this.

*Maybe, for you with elementary aged kids, you could find a high schooler for your kids to FaceTime with - maybe your little could show the big kid what they are working on for school work and the big kid could help and/or encourage.

I know there is a plethora of schedules out there - and often, other people's schedules just make me feel like a failure . . . I am going to offer the one I made for my two teens here, and you are allowed to copy it, or laugh at it, or roll your eyes at it, or use it as a jumping off point for your own.  BUT, you ARE NOT allowed to let it make you feel like a failure.  That being said, here it is:

Also - I know that keeping kids on task can be horrible.  I know it.  I can't give you advice on how to make that work.  Maybe using the ideas I listed above will help.  Maybe it won't. 

One thing for you moms who find yourselves yelling and then hating that you yelled - one thing that always worked with my son (when he was little, and still, now that he is 15) - is looking directly into his eyes when I need him to hear me. I would say, "Isaac, look at my eyes," and I would wait for eye-contact before I proceeded to tell him what I needed him to hear. I still do this. He doesn't hear what I tell him when he's not looking at me.

I actually did this when I was teaching (I taught for a year at a country school) and when I was subbing at school (which I did for three years). I would have the class look at my eyes when they had gotten off-task - and once they were looking at my eyes, I would relay the next piece of information.  Something about eye-contact changes the way we interact.  

Maybe for a day or two, the school-work just needs to be set aside.  Read a book, watch a movie, play a game, get outside.  (If you are home and can do this with them, great.  If you are still going to work and they need to do this on their own, great.  If you are working from home and have to get your stuff done while they do theirs, great.)  

And if all else fails, let your kids fail their assignments.  It's their work, not yours.  If you facilitate to the best of your ability, you've done your part.  You can't do the work for them, whether they are 5 or 15.  Take a deep breath, do what you deem best, and let your kids show you what they are capable of. 

Last thought for today:  Ask for help if you need it.  Ask a friend.  Ask your kid's teacher.  Ask your friends on Facebook.  Ask google.  Ask YouTube.  Our kids can learn a lot from us when they see us ask for help.  They get to learn that asking for help is an acceptable way to gather the tools we need to accomplish a task. 

We can do this, my friends. 

Go gently, love fiercely, ask for help, and be wonderful. 

love, e     

 

throwback thursday :: isaac reads

{as i have been revisiting my blog the past few days, i found this post in the archives.  i wrote it on may 25, 2015.  for some reason, i had never published it.  but, oh, did it do my heart good to find this and read it and know that now isaac is in ninth grade and he has overcome so much!  he is doing so well in school.  he reads and works hard and is pretty amazing.  and, like i wrote four and a half years ago, i am still so excited to see where we go from here - where he goes from here!  i am so very proud to be isaac's mom.}

on december 14, 2013, isaac asked me "mom, when am i going to be able to read chapter books?"  i had to say, "i don't know."  that almost broke my heart.

he worked and worked at his reading. 

in march of 2013, he got his glasses and we started his eye exercises - which we continued all through the summer.

he worked so hard at his reading and writing all through this school year.

this past thursday, may 21,2014, isaac took a comprehension test on a chapter book.  the first chapter book he ever read.  he read it all by himself.  Geronimo Stilton: I'm Not A SuperMouse.  he got an 80% on the test! 

he also gave a speech, not just talked, but read what he had written, to me, three peers and five other adults.  he read it so well.  clearly.  with emotion and interest.  and he was so sure of himself.  i was, and still am, so very proud of him. 

he went from reading at a late kindergarten, early first grade level this school year, to reading at a third grade level and from only reading aloud to reading to himself - a whole chapter book!  i am so excited to see where we go from here - where he goes from here! 

isaac - you ROCK!

first day . . . last day

 

and all the thoughts.

so many thoughts in looking at these pictures together.  bookends to this school year.  

they grew.  maddie is so pretty.  isaac is so handsome.  they are both so kind.  they are funny.  nothing makes me happier than hearing them laugh.  they are wonderful.  they make me smile.  sometimes we disagree.  sometimes they make me so mad.  we share laughter, and joy, and frustration, and growing pains, and utter confusion, and solid knowing.  so many times, they fill my heart to bursting.  

8th and 9th grade - done at noon today.  

and my kids are already on to all the activities that will mark them as a 9th and a 10th grader.  a freshman and a sophomore.  

isaac got his football helmet for freshman year already, and has an initial camp/practice on monday.  maddie has a volleyball camp monday-wednesday next week - starting to ready for j.v. tryouts.  they both have summer jobs.  they both have plans for some time at the beach with friends.  and right now, i am thinking that i am going to block off some days that i will take off work, that the three of us can do some summery fun things together.  and some days that the four of us (b+e+m+i) can do the same.  we need to claim some days, right now.  so we don't make it to the end of the summer without a few days of ease, together.  

oh, friends, if you have littles, know that all the work you are putting in now to play with your kids, really know your kids, to build relationships, to help them find the things they like to do and that they have the potential to do well, all that work will pay off.  it will.  and you will have teenagers that you love to spend time with.  keep choosing them.  and they will keep choosing you.  if you have more than one kiddo, help them choose each other (at least some of the time!), model the choosing.  help them build each other up, tell them they are wonderful, model the telling.  you stand to gain so much joy and such a beautifully full heart.  

i love these two, ever so very much.  

here's to laughter, and friday, and summertime, and new beginnings!  

 

first day of school {6th and 7th grade}

 {squinting into the sun ~ not excited that i am taking pictures}

 {and not squinting ~ excited to be heading off to school, to a new experience - junior high!}

in all the years that these two have been doing school and going to school, i have never taken a "first day of school picture" . . . i'm not sure why not.  except that i rarely do things in the conventional way.  i have my own little quirks and ways and tickings, i guess. 

but, this is the first year they are going off to junior high.  so, i thought that maybe i should document these next few years of first days.  {it will be fun to see which year finds isaac taller than maddie . . . any guesses? he's eleven and a half and maddie is just about thirteen . . .  and now i'm thinking that i have to get out a photo album and see what ages my next brother and i were when he caught up to me . . . hmmmm.}

after i took these pictures, i drove them into school, and as i was driving home, i dictated a journal entry ::

i don't know why today seems so big.  we are starting a new chapter, that's for sure.  the kids are in sixth and seventh grade.  and i am thirty-six.  ben will be thirty-seven in two months.  is that really where we're at?  it's good.  it just feels very different somehow. 

at school today, miss b was by the door to greet all the kids ~ a friendly and familiar face.  i hope their day is just super awesome.  and i'm sure it will be.  they're such sweet kids.  i love it that when i asked if i could walk in with them to drop something in the office, or if i should wait till they were well inside before i headed in, isaac said, "of course you can walk in with us, mom.  we aren't kids who are embarrassed of our parents.  we have awesome parents, and our friends who matter know that you're awesome."  

through all of this craziness that has been my life, that has been our life together, sometimes i don't know what i've done right and how they've turned out (so far) the way they have.  they are wonderful and fabulous and they're going to do such awesome things. 

yet when i think about it, i do know how they are wonderful.  they "are God’s masterpiece. He has created [them] anew in Christ Jesus, so [they] can do the good things He planned for [them] long ago." {ephesians 2:10 nlt}

i don't know why i'm feeling so nostalgic this year.  is that the right word? or melancholy (deeply, quietly thoughtful).  this all just feels really big and important. 

i thought i would write this out and finish my thoughts as a blog post that evening. i did post these pictures on facebook and instagram on that first day of school, but here i am, a week and a half later on my blog. 

because when they got home, isaac was worn out.  exhausted.  and feeling pretty defeated.  maddie had a great day!  isaac didn't. 

and i sat down with him to look at his homework and to write notes to couple of his teachers.  and i didn't know what i would write here.  so i didn't write.

each day since school started i have done one or more of the following: i have reread isaac's IEP + recommended accommodations, written notes, made phone calls, stopped in to the school, listened to isaac, helped with homework, thought through scenarios and conversations, prayed a lot, talked this out with my God and my husband and a few good friends, and encouraged my boy to be tough, to have patience while we sort this all out.

{i am working on a post about (some of) my experience parenting a child with special needs.}

each day has gotten a little better for isaac. 

each day has gone so well for maddie.

they are working hard, putting heart and mind and creativity into their school work, for themselves and for their teachers.  both kids really like their teachers, and i am so grateful for these teachers (maddie and isaac have all the same ones!).  what a wonderful team of people teaching these junior high kiddos!   

isaac is playing football.  maddie is playing volleyball.  so they have practice after school four days a week.  they are working hard, learning their games, putting heart and mind and muscle into a team.  this is good, too!

they come home hungry and tired.  but they play outside {rollerblade and scooter, walk with chaco and i, jump on the trampoline}, eat huge suppers, and get their homework done before falling into bed and sleeping deeply. 

and this to me seems like a good sort of life.  learning, working, creating, exercising, enjoying friends, breathing the wild fresh air, and sleeping soundly.  doing the good things.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... ... ..

go gently, be wonderful, and do the good things, my friends.
love, e

 

the first three weeks of may

these pictures are from the first three weeks of this merry month of may.  and i, well, i am writing to you from the other side of a very interesting year, my friends.  

wow.  

i didn't write for my blog very much during this school year.  because.  well.  because a lot of reasons, i guess.  i did collect many, many moments.  some moments to treasure and others to ponder in my heart. 

i just clicked back and read my post about being hired to teach for this 2015-2016 school year.  i was so enthusiastic!  i wrote things like we will be getting our awesome on and thirty years of playing school - and counting.  i don't think it could get much better!  and you know, this year really did go well.  over all.  even though this year had some very hard parts, i am really glad i had this opportunity.  my kiddos and i learned a lot.  we learned a lot about our school district.  we met a lot of people in our community.  we learned a lot about this phenomenon called country school.  the hardest parts truly were the best learning experiences.    

and my early enthusiasm was rewarded.  it carried me through a school year for which i had no prep time, a school year where i pulled all four of my grades together as we went along.  when i was really on top of things, i could go week by week.  when the time filled up, i worked day by day.  and when situations out of my control arose, i hung in there moment by moment.  and through it all, we did some pretty stellar projects and programs.  all of my students had poetry published this year, my two older students took projects to regional history day and on to state history day.  my students and all made new friends through collaborative projects and programs we attended.  we did outdoor journals, we read and read, we taught each other, we worked through personality clashes and just plain bad attitudes.  we smiled, we laughed, we chewed gum, we listened to music, we drew pictures, we made collages, we combined math, science, history and writing.  we celebrated birthdays and we ate cupcakes.  there were a lot of moments of getting our awesome on.  

and now, on to a new chapter.  tomorrow is check-out day for me.  and then my growing-up girl and i will celebrate together.  then saturday and sunday, our little family will weekend together: that will be fabulous.  

monday will be the beginning of a new week.  a summertime week.  the first week of the rest of may.  

go get your awesome on, my friends!  
love, e

 

a simple letter

hello friends,

this evening i was working away on entering grades into my online grade book.  what a funny feeling to be clicking quarter 4 each time i add an assignment and grade.  this quarter 4 mark makes me feel reflective.  and very grateful.

i think it's time for a right now sort of list.  

today i am

wondering just how some of the pieces will fit together, but it is a good wonder

listening to music in our classroom {avett brothers, symphonies, walk off the earth, film scores}

reading some mary oliver, some edith holden, some scripture, and some instgram - so many good words

eating gingersnaps and sweet potatoes {sort of sounds like fall, but feeds the need for warm and bright on this wild march day}

drinking coffee and more coffee.  always coffee

seeing clouds of every shape and size and description and color and type {some dropping all manner of precipitation} move through and over and around us today

wearing a cozy flannel shirt under a zip hoodie, my favorite jeans, my favorite glasses, my new favorite ring, and earrings i made

feeling grateful for this year of teaching both my kiddos again 

correcting social studies tests and grammar

enjoying journal entries and creative sentences

wanting all four of us {our little family here} to feel better {head colds and poison ivy = yuck}

needing maybe just some deep breaths and a bit of a certain kind of space

counting down the days until summer break and a bit of a reset after this first year in our new place

thinking that i am willing to be dazzled and filled with awe over simple, incomprehensible splendor

loving ben. always ben. and my kiddos

praising the author of grace and strength and peace and understanding

knowing that there is no line between the sacred and the secular, this life i live is all blurred together and wonderful and beautiful, a song of praise to my God, as long as i have breath to count blessings and gratitude, as long as i have life i have hope to share, that sacred hope pouring over into every nook and cranny of it all, making all sacred, making all a witness.

today i am making all a witness.

be a witness, my friends.  a witness to beauty.  a witness to gratitude.  a witness to the sacred.

go gently and be wonderful.  love, e

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

older right now posts (a few of them anyway)

here and here and here 

 

a simple letter

hello friends,

here i am again.  yesterday i wrote to you from my desk at school.  this evening i am writing to you from my couch.  ben, chaco, and i are sitting together on one of our tiny, funny couches.  there is symphony music playing.  i can hear isaac sorting through legos upstairs (there is an x-wing fighter in progress).  i'm certain that maddie is in bed reading.  and outside, the wind is whipping.  30-50 mph with gusts up to 70.  it sounds like it's going to rip through our windows.   

while i'm on the subject of the weather, today was a beautiful, eclectic mix.  this morning was grey and heavy.  we were socked in by dark clouds.  but around 11:00, they broke up and by 2:00, it was perfectly clear and 64 degrees F.  we took our morning recess at 11:00, when the sky started to clear.  after lunch, nobody wanted to head back inside.  but in we went, and i had my three work really hard for an hour (it's amazing what the incentive of doing an outdoor journal page and then being allowed to play in the sunshine does for work ethic!), then we set up journal pages and headed out.  it was so warm.  and beautiful.  the kids and i all counted to five four times (see my journal page above) and made little lists and did some sketching.  there were birds chirping and singing. robins, even!  and i heard a fly buzz by.  i was in awe that this is a february day! 

after finishing their journal assignments, the two boys played catch until the end of the day.  maddie and i sat on the step and continued to sketch and drink in the sunshine.

at 3:30, maddie and i biked home, put our things away, grabbed the leash and the dog and headed out for a walk.  a good, long walk.  maddie was wearing sandals! 

once home, i prepared supper and some dessert.  which reminds me, i should not talk about tasty food and then skip sharing the recipe!  i had quite a few requests for the recipe for the cinnamon toast bars i wrote about yesterday.  i am going to amend yesterday's letter to include that recipe, so check the end of yesterday's post if you would like to make some cinnamon toast bars.  (you should.  they are so tasty!  and could be easily glutenized or veganized.)

in other news, ben is fire-ready.  and it is february 18.  and we live in western south dakota.  the packs are packed and ready.  he is back to work full-time.  the winter furlough is over already.  so. very. early.  we got such little moisture over the past months.  and with the warm temps and the wild winds, any little spark would run away into a very big fire crazy quick. so, as i type this, the smell of smoke is being stirred through the living room; ben is going through his fire pack once more.  reorganizing.  making certain he has what he wants and can foresee needing, things that are worth their weight in the pack he will carry 16+ hours a day whenever he is fighting fire. 

and i am working at being ready for him to be gone at a moment's notice. 

but for now, i'll stare at him, all goofy and in love.  and i'll crawl in with him tonight.  and enjoy the hours i get with him. 

so, my friends, i am signing off for tonight. 
go gently into your tomorrow and be wonderful. 
with love, e

 

nature poetry and practicing kindness

today was a beautiful, sunny, blue sky day.  the temperature was in the twenties.  but the sun was so warm.  so very warm. 

i read the summer day by mary oliver to the kids today.  yes. summer. 

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

then, for a writing / outdoor journal activity, i had the kids head outside with two thoughts in mind.  one instruction i gave was to look at details of something particular (patch of ground, stalk of a plant, trunk of a tree, etc) as though from an insect's point of view.  {this idea came from dawn's november .: fall outside :. e-course and went along so nicely with the reading of this poem.}  the other instruction was to think how to use their details and other noticings and knowledge they have about winter to write their own version of the summer day as the winter day.  we put on coats and boots and spent about half an hour outside, noticing and writing. 

we headed inside to finish our poetry with warmer fingers.  as they each finished their writing, they brought their journals to my desk, and i delved in to their words.  sheer beauty.  i was smiling as i read, and my eighth grader said, "you like to read our journals, don't you mrs. patten?"  yes.  yes i absolutely love to read their journals.  they each have their own wonderful style.  their own wild and precious brain.  each one is becoming more comfortable with writing and sketching expressions of their thoughts, of themselves.  and i get the joy and the blessing of seeing through these journal-framed windows into their souls.

these are wonderful.  isaac's looks like it is written in a foreign language - but i have learned how to decipher his dyslexic, left-handedness and he is getting better at writing and spelling coherently.  i loved what my fourth grader wrote from an insect's perspective.  my eighth grader did a beautiful job of making the mary oliver poem-as-template truly his own.  with the exception of one line, my daughter and i kept the same lines from mary oliver's original and changed the same lines.  i looked up at maddie and said, "we must be related" and we laughed. 

{check back tomorrow, if you'd like.  in the morning, at school, i will type check below; i did type out each of the kids' poems and add them here, so you can read them, too.  these words are worth sharing.} 

it never ceases to amaze me, how each one of them creates with words.  and, when i read their work aloud, they all praise each others' work.  i love to hear them encourage one another; i love to hear their practice of kindness.  and i love their words. 

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. 

isaac's (with the bird)

a winter day can be cold
a winter day can be warm
a gray jay flies overhead
it comes and eats from my hand
it hops toward me, it looks nervous
it flies away to the nearest tree
i wait patiently

my fourth grader's (top right)

i love being so small
in a big world.  crawling over
and up leaves climbing trees
to see the top of the
world.  in winter it looks
like i'm walking on glitter as the snow
glimmers beneath my feet
i love crawling
up trees in the
summer time

my eighth grader's (lower left)

who made the world
who made the goose, and the bison
who made the horse,
i mean the one who wears shoes and makes a squeak when the horse walks.
they trot so gracefully in the sparkly snow!
i don't know what to think.
but i do know horses are beautiful creatures
i do know how to pay attention
and how to run in the pasture with all the wind in my tail and mane.
which i love to do!
tell me how to do more.
because everything dies too fast and all will be over.
tell me how to plan for the rest of my wild and precisous,
miraculous lovely life

mine (lower middle)
(because the kids love when i do the same work they do, even multiplication speed tests - which i did on tuesday with them - oh boy!)

who made the world?
who made the eagle and the bison?
who made the fox?
this fox, i mean -
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is prancing across the open field,
who is moving quickly, then stopping, with head cocked to one side -
who is lstening and looking for a mouse.
now she sets her body, ears forward.
now she leaps into the air and lands face first into a mound of snow.
now she steps back, shakes her head free of snow crystals, mouse trapped in her jaws.
i don't know exactly what a prayer is.
i do know how to pay attention, how to kneel down into snow and matted grass,
how to be idle and thoughtful and blessed,
how to walk on, how to stop and observe.
i would love to do this all day.
tell me, what else should i do?
doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

maddie's (lower right)

who made the world?
who made the snake, and the badger?
who made the leaf?
this leaf, i mean -
the one who blew around and i caught in the air,
the one that is soft and brown,
who is wiggling in the breeze -
who fell but i caught again.
i grabbed it so hard it broke.
now it crumbles, and floats away.
i don't know exactly what a prayer is.
i know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the snow,
how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed,
how to stroll through the fields,
which is what i've been doing all day.
tell me, what else should i have done?
doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

advent thoughts :: merry and bright

sunlight through the windows as i worked on lesson planning.

this advent season has been different for us again. of course.

i am doing december as a teacher. that encompasses all kinds of shenanigans. parties and programs and secret santas and such. we had our program at school last thursday evening. it went well and was very festive and fun. maddie and isaac played a trio with their band teacher. their music was wonderful!

and they played again at the main county school last night. and they'll play again at the other country school in the county on thursday evening.

i've been incorporating december poetry and favorite christmas stories into our mornings and our language arts studies. this part of teaching is my favorite. i love sharing words and stories and ideas that strike a chord with me. i love watching my class, diverse as it is, get into reading a story, get into writing their words and thoughts, get a math concept, see the connection between the book we are reading aloud for fun and the study of where all it is taking place on the map. and while we have the maps pulled down and the globe out, let's see where these countries are in relation to each other. and in relation to us. and wow! russia is big! and it's on two continents! but the ussr was really, really big! and now, this is some history, too.

and as i look at the countries of the world, and think about the little bit that i know about what is happening now, and as i listen to my own kids and my other two students, i know that the reality of advent, the waiting for the light of the world to come and to dispel shadows with his great might and love, i know that i am living in advent. i am waiting for the arrival. and while i wait, i will do my best to shine with his light. to share joy. even when my flesh is weak. i have a safe and comfortable bed in which to rest my weary body. not a bed of hay. not a pile of rubble. not a refugee tent. always, joy and light come with the practice of gratitude.

this advent, the light is coming to me in the beautiful skies of early morning and midday and as evening falls in brilliant colors. i light candles. we have two strands of lights in our living room. no tree this year. the first year since ben and i have been married that we haven't put up a tree. but our home still feels festive. there is no snow on the ground, yet we are still merry and bright.

we are in this new place. this new town. this new state. nine hours of driving to our closest family members. so this year, we will drive. drive to my parents. drive to ben's parents. drive to our siblings' homes. drive and drive. and visit and hug and see and connect. and drive some more. two full weeks of goodness. two full weeks of not our usual christmas time. i have had mixed emotions about this. about not putting up a tree, about not being in our own home for any of the days surrounding christmas. but really, my home is wherever the four of us are together. and everyone we visit will have a tree and all the trimmings. and i am really looking forward to driving off, car full of little gifts for our family, just embarking on a little adventure.

i hope that this advent season is merry and bright and full of goodness for you, my friends.

go gently and be wonderful.
~e