bits of sunshine

sunday coffee and words

Numbers 20 - Miriam dies
and the well dries up
the people complain - they are thirsty and afraid
God tells Moses to take his staff
          assemble all the poeple
          and SPEAK to the rock
          tell the rock to yeild water

But Moses - once again - doesn't trust that words will work
back in Exodus chapters 3 and 4 (3:11 and 13 and 4:1, 10, and 13)
Moses told God five times
that he (Moses) wouldn't know how to talk to Pharaoh,
that he couldn't do it,
that no one would listen to his voice, his words.

God continues to tell Moses that He (God) will provide the words
and He asks Moses, out of exasperation, I think,
"Who has made man's mouth?
Who makes him mute or deaf or seeing or blind?
Is it not I, the LORD?
Now go!
And I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak."

But Moses asks yet again, "Please send someone else."
Moses does not believe that the words God gives will be enough.
Spoken words enough to free a people?
Spoken words enough to create water in a desert?
Words spoken to Pharaoh will have power?
Words spoken to a rock - an unyeilding force - will produce what is demanded?
What power could words have?
Moses does not trust that God will honor His own words
          "tell the rock"
or that God will honor the words that Moses speaks. 

This whole existence is a story of words.
God created the whole world with words - by the WORD - remember?
"Let there be light."
And there was light.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
All things were made through the Word.
In Him was life - life that is the light of humankind.
(Genesis 1:3 and John 1:1-4)

God made covenant with the ancestors of Jesus and people of ancient days with words. He made shifts in their names that changed their destinies. 

"Words are events, they do things, change things." (Ursala K. Guin)

If you lose faith in words, you lose power and your future changes.
Moses lost faith in words and his future changed.
When Moses continued to doubt the words of God,
the words of God's promises did not carry Moses to the fertile promised land;
Moses did not speak the words God offered to supply,
and he lived out his life in the barren desert. 

I don't want to discount the power of words. I want to take care with God's Words. I want to trust His Words.

I want to speak truth and life and living water with my words.

What promised lands may be opened or closed to me and to others because of what words I believe and what words I speak?

Moses did not speak to Pharoah as God would have empowered him to do.
Moses did not speak to the rock as God would have empowered him to do.
He missed opportunities to use the power of language. 

May we be blessed with the clarity we need to chose powerful words.
May we build a safer and stronger and more righteous world
for ourselves and those around us
with life-giving, life-affirming, intentional words. 

May we have the faith to speak to what seems immovable,
and may we have the joy of watching life-giving water gush forth from the Rock
by the power of our words. 

May it be so.
          Amen. 

 

.. . . . .. . .. ... . .. .. ... .. ... . .. . . ... ... . . .. . . .. ... . . . ... .

and a nod to Jericho Vincent {@thealef on instagram}, for the thought-provoking series "The World's Oldest Bookclub" 

women at wells in scripture

We just talked about the Samaritan woman at the well in the Bible study I attend. I realized that there is a pattern of women at wells in Biblical stories, so I pulled what I knew together and did a little more study about Photina - the Samaritan woman at the well, and other women at wells.

 

Hagar is found by the angel of the Lord by a well. (She is an Egyptian - a stranger to Abraham's people - she has been rejected by her husband, but God found her by a well and sees her and hears her and makes her a promise).

 

Keturah who will become one of Abraham's wives is found at the Well of Sheba. (Her son, Midian, is Zipporah's ancestor.)

 

Rebekah, who will become Isaac's wife is found for him as she draws water from a well. (Her father, Bethuel, is Abraham's nephew.)

 

Rachel, who will become Jacob's wife, is found for him as she brings her flock to a well and Jacob removes the stone covering the well, so she can draw water. (Her son Joseph marries Asenath.)

 

Asenath, who will become Joseph's wife, served at a shrine with a well (She is also an Egyptian - a stranger to Abraham's people - brought into the people of God). (Her son Ephriam is Jesus' ancestor.)

 

Tamar who will bear Judah's children, is met by him at a well. (Her son Perez is Jesus' ancestor.)

 

Zipporah, who will become Moses' wife, is at the well to draw water, but Moses draws for her. (She is a Midianite - considered a stranger.) (Her son Eliezer is Jesus' ancestor.)

 

Achsah, Caleb's daughter, is given land by her father, and as a wedding gift, he also gives her two springs (wells) - the upper and the lower adjacent to her land. (A woman who is given an inheritance including springs of water.)

 

Photina is met by Jesus at a well - at Jacob's Well to be exact. And here are some more things I found interesting -

 

The tribe of Ephraim (the same Ephriam who is Jesus' ancestor) is the tribe the Samaritans descended from.

 

Photina has had five husbands and is now with a sixth man. The tribe of Ephriam adopted false gods from six nations.

 

Now Jesus - who always redeems, and who is the true Bridegroom, offers her living water. He is the seventh man. The one who brings completion and rest (on the seventh day, God rested). He is offering Photina redemption - and is also offering Ephriam's decendents redemption - because she runs to tell them that she has met the Messiah!

 

And Jesus sits on the well as he talks with Photina. This was not done. But there is a tie back to Jacob and Rachel. Jacob, before removing the stone covering the well, makes the comment "Behold it is high day; it is not time for the [miqneh] to be gathered." The word miqneh refers to livestock (or flocks) and literally means "the purchased". Jesus (our cornerstone, our foundation) is sitting on the well at noon (high day) and he tells his disciples that the field is white for harvest (which means people are ready to believe on him - and in believing, are purchased by his gift of salvation). When Jacob looked out, while the well was covered with a stone, it was not time for the purchased ones to be gathered. When Jesus looked out, siting on the well as the Stone - the Cornerstone, it was now time for the purchased ones to be gathered.

 

Jesus found Photina at the well - she is a picture of the church - the Bride of Christ comprised of relatives and strangers rejected by some, but found by God, seen and heard by God, and brought into His promise. We are purchased and given an inheritance, springs of living water, and true rest.

 

Sources:

Genesis 16:7-15 (Hagar at the well)

Genesis 24:11-67 (Rebekah at the well)

Genesis 29:1-14 (Jacob and Rachel at the well)

Genesis 38:13-30 (Tamar at the shrine - shrines had wells)

Genesis 41:45 (Asenath daughter of the priest who served at a shrine - with a well)

Genesis 25:1, 22:19 (Keturah is Abraham's wife, Abraham stayed in Beersheba [Beer=well, so Well of Sheba] with her)

Exodus 2:16-22 (Zipporah at the well)

Judges 1:12-15 (Achsah is given two springs)

I Kings 12:25-33 and II Kings 17:30-31 (The six nations that Ephriam adopted false gods from)

Genesis 25:1-2 (Midian is Keturah and Abraham's son)

Exodus 2:16, 18, & 21 (Zipporah is daughter of Reuel, a descendent and priest of Midian)

Genesis 24:15 (Rebekah's father is Abraham's nephew)

Genesis 35:24 (Rachel is Joseph's mother) Genesis 41:45 (Joseph marries Asenath)

Genesis 46:20 (Asenath is Ephraim's mother) (Ephraim is Joseph’s son; Joseph is Judah’s brother; Jesus is of the line of Judah)

The Samaritans occupied the land that was allotted to Ephraim and there is historical and DNA evidence that they descended from Ephraim.

Photina is not named in the Bible - but historical church records name her Photina or Photini. And from Alice Linsley, a Biblical Anthropologist, The Samaritan woman who Jesus spoke to at Jacob's well is known as Photini (enlightened one). She is esteemed among Christians. In the Eastern Church, she is regarded as "equal to the Apostles." She is the first evangelist in the New Testament since she ran to tell everyone about Messiah's appearing, and tradition holds that she and her children were martyred in Carthage.

I Peter 2:4 (Christ is the Living Stone)

Isaiah 28:16 and I Peter 2:6 (Christ is the Cornerstone)

The comparisons of Jesus at the well and Jacob at the well are drawn from Genesis 29:1-14 and John 4:6-42.

 

Much of the Old Testament is pictures and foretelling of what is to be fulfilled in Jesus. I love to find these connections. God is an amazing storyteller - telling the best story - the good news - the Gospel.

 

I also learned from: 

Just Genesis: A Woman at a Well by Alice Linsley and The Ecclesiology of Wells by Remy Wilkins

beautiful, ordinary magic

parenting teenagers is hard, so very hard

and also beautiful

because they are magic

and they are regular immature humans

sometimess they are good and magic

and sometimes they are more of both and sometimes less of both

sometimes it seems as though the good and the magic are far, far away

and if we love them, we are here for all of it

and we are supposed to guide these magical ordinary creatures

so maybe we need to let them know that the magic is real

even on days when they can't be , or just don't want to be amazing

and the magic is real

even when they disappoint someone else

or themself

even when they aren't and can't be

even when they are most awkward and real

even then, they are magic

 

the seasons are changing

february 19 and i am writing that the seasons are changing . . . 

we have noticeably more hours of sunlight than we did just a few short weeks ago. each morning, i get up and walk through the house, turn up the heat and turn on some lights and start the coffee pot. for a few months, the sky is dark, and still dark when i emerge from the shower, get dressed, and pour myself a cup of coffee, the sun not yet up over the horizon line of the neighborhood. for a few weeks, i arrive at work (at 8:00) before the sun has made its appearance. 

each evening, i leave work sometime between 4:30 and 5:15. for a few months, the sky is dark when i am heading home, the sun already low, shining somewhere else, further west.

this morning, i was up at 6:15, the waning moon shining brightly in the lightening western sky, clouds stained pink in the eastern sky, the sun ready to make an appearance over eastern montana before 7:00. 

the air today is warmer, even in the early morning.

and i have a beautiful box of fruit and veggies to eat and share and cook with. the vibrant colors feel like summertime and hope. 

ben headed out early this morning; he'll be teaching all day today and tomorrow. we are already starting into the season where staffing and preparation and fire load will demand that he live and work at the station eighty-six miles northwest of home. fire season used to be shorter, more predictable, late june through mid-september, with a few random fires outside this fairly predictable timeframe. but seasons change. and there have been three fires in the coverage area ben is supervisor for in the last two weeks. in years past, no one in montana would be thinking about preparing a wildland engine and bringing it into service in february. those engines would stay winterized and out of service for at least two months yet. last week, at least one engine up in jordan got prepped and brought into service ready status. the seasons are changing.

maddie will graduate at the end of may. she has her summer job lined up and she knows where she is headed for college in the fall (just across town) and what program of study she will be starting.

isaac has one week of hockey left. next weekend is the state tournament. and then he will be applying for a job. 

i am sorting through pictures and boxes, getting ready to make memory boards to display at graduation parties. and i am going to find a way to spend more time outside and more time writing. i'm not just sure how this will work out, but i need these two things. i feel most alive when i have been out, breathing deep, walking or biking or paddling or sitting with the sun on my shoulders. and i write to find out what i think and to share what i think and how i feel with you. because no one wants to be alone in all of this. and we want to be reminded to notice the moon in the sky, the sun coming up, the color and taste of an orange, the sound of laughter, the changing of seasons. 

today, notice something about the season you are in. notice something that is changing. go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.  

 

fullness of joy

you make known to me the path of life in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

sometimes, i go looking for the joy, seeking the right hand of the creator.

you are my lord. apart from you i have no good thing.

this morning, when i dropped ben off at the office, the sun was just far enough above the horizon to be tinging trees and rooftops the faintest, glowing pink. i turned and drove slowly into the park and watched two white-tail does prance across the snow, ears up, tails lifting and falling, graceful and lithe. 

the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed i have a beautiful inheritance.

i drove slowly through town, noticing the blue of the sky, the dark of the tree skeletons, the puffs of clouds colored white and grey and pink.

my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices.

psalm 16

3 december 2021

it gets dark so early now. it is 3:30 pm and already dusk. granted, clouds did roll in this afternoon, but at 1:15, it was so sunny, and now, 3:30 and heading toward dark. we have another eighteen days of shortening daylight. and then it always seems that we don't really feel the days lengthen until we are through january - even though the earth is continually tilting, be it ever so slowly. the way the earth tilts away from the sun is such a strange phenomena. here in montana, we live far enough to the north to really feel the shortening of days. and whoever the decision makers are with the whole daylight savings thing make this darkness set in even earlier. i'd be all for doing away with daylight savings and just going with straight time all year round. seems like all of us would have happier bodies and minds without the twice-a-year switch.

we have had some sickness to fight in our house these past few days - and i feel like i really need to cook us some veggie-filled meals to help bolster our immune systems. maybe a stir-fry is in order tonight or tomorrow - if i have enough energy to chop and fry . . . maybe frozen veggies this time - just because they are already chopped. 

the other morning, the sky put on such a display. i am quite certain the light and the color were a happy birthday wish for ben, and also, that the maker of the whole sky and all of this was sending a blessing to all of us in this in-between sort of time between fall and winter, between thanksgiving and christmas, between night and morning, between longer days and shorter, and whatever all we might find ourselves in between. 

a few weekns ago, a friend asked a question on her facebook - to really know you, what is one thing i need to know about you?

so, i started typing an answer:

i speak or write to find out what i think . . . it is hard for me to process things in my head . . . i need to see or hear the words in order to process . . . so, sometimes, what i say or write initially is hard or extra passionate or some kind of extreme . . . but even if i sound adamant and domineering, i am truly open to having conversations that make me think differently or more broadly.

 

and i thanked her for the question, because in typing those words, i literally just completed a thought that i have been trying to form about myself.

 

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

and now - two more thoughts on gratitude.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

as we express our gratitude,
we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live them.
~jfk

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

you will be enriched in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion,
and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
this service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people
but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.
2 corinthians 9:11-12

maybe he will calm the raging sea

the other night i pulled mary oliver's new and selected poems off my shelf.  i was looking for a poem to send to a friend, and as i found the one i was looking for, this one caught my eye as well

Maybe

Sweet Jesus, talking
    his melancholy madness,
        stood up in the boat
            and the sea lay down,

silky and sorry,
    So everybody was saved
        that night.
            But you know how it is

when something
    different crosses
        the threshold — the uncles
          mutter together,

the women walk away,
    the young brother begins
        to sharpen his knife.
            Nobody knows what the soul is.

It comes and goes
    like the wind over the water —
        sometimes, for days,
            you don’t think of it.

Maybe, after the sermon,
    after the multitude was fed,
        one or two of them felt
            the soul slip forth

like a tremor of pure sunlight
    before exhaustion,
        that wants to swallow everything,
            gripped their bones and left them

miserable and sleepy,
    as they are now, forgetting
        how the wind tore at the sails
            before he rose and talked to it —

tender and luminous and demanding
    as he always was —
        a thousand times more frightening
            than the killer sea.

i savored the tremor of pure sunlight; i felt the wind tearing at the sails and retreating to a sleepy silence; i see Jesus, fearful and tender and luminous, demanding that the sea and the people listen to him. i wanted to find the scripture that mary took her inspiration from, Matthew 8:23-27, reads

 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him.  And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep.  And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.”  And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.  And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

last night, i picked up my copy of god speaks through wombs by drew jackson. the third poem i read tonight is titled 

The Raging Sea

and the accompanying scripture reference is Luke 8:22-25

One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out,  and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger.  And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm.  He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”

next to this passage in my Bible, i had penned Psalm 65:7-8, so of course i turned there, and, because i had underlined 5-8, that is what i read

By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness,
    O God of our salvation,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
    and of the farthest seas;
the one who by his strength established the mountains,
    being girded with might;
who stills the roaring of the seas,
    the roaring of their waves,
    the tumult of the peoples,
so that those who dwell at the ends of the earth are in awe at your signs.
You make the going out of the morning and the evening to shout for joy.

so here, in one of the psalms of david, we have God stilling the roaring of the sea, the roaring of the waves, and the tumult of people.

then i read drew's poem:

The Raging Sea

Growing up, I heard tales of sea monsters.
Some called them whales,
some said Leviathan --
giants, 

the size of empires.
Untamable, chaotic, overwhelming.
No one could tell what their next move would be.

We never stood a chance,
like minnows,
in the ocean of great powers.

The only thing more potent
than the monsters who cause storms
is the one who can calm them. But I guess
he's sleeping, because the beasts rage on.

the ending of drew's poem is the ending of david's psalm create a dissonance. joy and rage. the ending of mary's poem and the ending of david's psalm also create a dissonance. awesome and frightening. 

there is one more telling of the story in scripture. and it is of interest to note that, because of roman imperial occumpation and the temple's destruction and desecration, the atmosphere of the disciples' world was full of fear, grief, lamentation, and dread. the storm that overtakes their boat and the boats around them, is one more monster that threatens to overtake them, to take their very lives. and Jesus has laid down on a cushion and fallen asleep. we find a third telling in Mark 4:35-41

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.”  And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.  And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.  But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”  And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.  He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”  And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”

the disciples would have heard david's psalm read in synagogue. they would have known that it is God who stills the raging wind, the raging sea, the tumult within the people. and here was Jesus in the midst of the storm, demanding that the sea lay down, fearlessly commanding the wind and waves to still. who is this man? the wind and waves obey him. what sort of a man is he? is       he even             a man?       . . . the relief from fear, the absence of wind, the almost eerie calm, leaves them unnerved.  

our lives sometimes fill with fear, grief, lamentation, and dread. we are threatened by storms that break over us. there are monsters that rage on for days, weeks, months, years, and even lifetimes. in our distress, tossed in the untamable sea, though we cry out in unbelief, he may yet calm the storm, he may yet bring joy, he may yet remain with us, girded with might, awesome and terrible, beautiful and more powerful than any other force we have ever known. unsettling even as he brings peace. 

 

.. ... ..... .. . . .. ... .. . .. .. .... . .. . ... . . . .. .. . . . . ... . ... .. . .. .

if you want to hear me read aloud and talk about this, you can listen at my vimeo site

 

so, about social media

let me tell you a little story. 

one day last week, i texted a verse to a handful of friends. just that. and the tiny replies i got encouraged me to think about sending another the next day. 

that morning, i was doing a quick scroll down facebook and saw this:

By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.    Luke 1:78-79

Good Morning

 

this verse and morning wish were shared by a friend i have actually never met in real life.  {ben has known her since he was a kid.  i have known her on facebook for a few years.}  and i thought, this. i need to share this verse today.  so, i have texted this blessing of mercy and light and peace out into the world.  and as another friend who i know because of instagram says, if one person is touched, the Word has done its job. today, i can name at least nine people who have been touched by this Word this morning.  

 

in the last few days there has been more talk of the power that facebook and instagram have to negatively impact individuals, families, communities, and the world.  

there is the potential.  i have dear friends who won't use facebook for a variety of reasons.  and i respect their reasons.

i think i felt the negative most deeply when i started using pinterest. i was building my boards and i built one that i named realistic exercise. i had some friends that i was following who posted workout ideas and i thought that these were helpful. 'ten minutes to a more toned stomach'. 'these five exercise five times for firmer triceps'.  'this three minute exercise for a shapely butt'. just a few minutes; just a few exercises; i should be able to take the time for these things. and at the end of each day, when i hadn't done the ten minutes and the five sets and the three minutes, etc., i felt like a failure. i tried doing sets of exercises in the bathroom before i hopped in the shower. i tried doing workouts in the middle of the day, early in the morning, in the evening - and i always came up short. or so it seemed. i coudln't keep up with my pinterest board and the friends who were posting these tips and tricks. 

so you know what i did? i unfollowed every board that had exercises. i unfollowed every board that had workout clothes. i unfollowed some friends' whole pinterest accounts. i cleaned up my board - so it includes few exercises and some encouragement. i reaffirmed myself in going for walks and bike rides and swims with my kids and husband. i reaffirmed myself in gardening and cleaning my house and mowing my lawn. i reaffirmed myself in breathing fresh air and playing. 

when i joined facebook - back when status updates were simply typed lines and pictures had to be uploaded in albums and everything was chronological - when i joined facebook, i would sit down for a few minutes, or longer, and simply read friends' status updates and leave them little messages on their walls. i would write an encouragement, a happy thought, a wish for a wonderful weekend. 

when i started blogging (in 2008), ben helped me come up with the name bits of sunshine because that is what i wanted to share, what i look for.  

when i joined instagram, i did so because all my friends from flickr had moved to instagram and i missed them. some of them who had been blogging regularly weren't blogging regularly any longer - but they were posting to instagram. i found my way into instagram and connected with blog friends and flickr friends and real life friends and branched out to find new friends.

i cannot tell you how very rich my life is because of the way i have interected with people through social media. i don't {usually} mindlessly scroll. i read. i comment. i continue conversations. i actively follow new accounts that bring me joy, teach me something new, and some that introduce discomfort into my thought process. i unfollow accounts that i find myself quickly scrolling past or that always put me in a critical mindset. if i can't interact with the account owner and learn from them and with them or mutually encourage or share joy and beauty, then i don't need to have that account in my feed. i rarely view the explore option or reels. when my feed on facebook or instagram shows more adds than posts from my friends, i sign off. 

because of this blog and instagram, i have friends all over the world. we send mail and packages and books from our homes to each other. we have real conversations in our posts and comments. we send email. we sometimes have phone call chats. i have met a few in person and hope to meet many more. 

because of the blogs i have read over the years and because of instagram and a few facebook groups, i have had the opportunity to learn and learn and learn. 

i am very thoughtful about how i interact with all of this internet-land. i look for opportunities to learn opportunities to be encouraged. opportunities to encourage. ephesians 4:25-29 and philippians 1:2-11 and 4:4-8 and colossians 4:6 and first peter 3:15 are all guides for my mind and heart in how i use social media. 

i work to focus on encouragement and joy and truth and real, raw life and hope and finding the beauty and making a way for the light to shine. 

the article below highlights some of the comments from frances haugen's testimony. i agree with so much of this. i miss the days of chronological facebook and instagram. i feel like that did allow for a more human experience. if that ever were to be brought back, i would love it. but, if not, i think the awareness that the algorythm tires to drive how people interact with your posts - the knowledge is helpful. and we can go find our friends' posts and interact with them on our own terms - it takes some effort, but everything good takes some effort. and there is satisfaction in putting forth the effort, there is satisfaction in beating the algorythm. 

.. . ..... ... ... .. . ... . .. .. ... .. ... .. ... .... ..... .. .. .. . ..... . .. . . . .. .

{From the article Facebook Whistleblower Testifies by Barbara Ortutay and David Klepper on October 5, 2021}

 

Former Facebook data scientist Frances Haugen told lawmakers that new regulations are needed to force Facebook to improve its platforms. But she stopped short of calling for a breakup of the company, saying it wouldn’t fix existing problems, instead calling for small changes that could bring the needed results.

Making changes to reduce the spread of misinformation and other harmful content wouldn’t require a wholesale reinvention of social media, Haugen said. One of the simplest changes could be to just organize posts in chronological order instead of letting computers predict what people want to see based on how much engagement — good or bad — it might attract.

Another was to add one more click before users can easily share content, which she said Facebook knows can dramatically reduce misinformation and hate speech.

“A lot of the changes that I’m talking about are not going to make Facebook an unprofitable company, it just won’t be a ludicrously profitable company like it is today,” she said.

She said Facebook won’t make those changes on its own if it might halt growth, even though the company’s own research showed that people use the platform less when they’re exposed to more toxic content.

“One could reason a kinder, friendlier, more collaborative Facebook might actually have more users five years from now, so it’s in everyone’s interest,” she said.

.. . ..... ... ... .. . ... . .. .. ... .. ... .. ... .... ..... .. .. .. . ..... . .. . . . .. .

a kinder, friendlier, more collaborative facebook would be fantastic. but for now, we can be the kind, friendly, collaborative humans who connect over social media. 

30 august 2021

usually i love facebook memories
but sometimes they are a mix of happy and sad

i signed on today, and this picture brought me right back 
into the cool night air
filled with the sounds of the baseball game,
the kids enjoying cotton candy,
ben beside me,
all of us crowding in for a picture . . .

and my breath caught
my eyes pricked with tears
and i wanted nothing more
than to be planning an outing for friday night,
all four of us together somewhere,
cool air,
music,
lights,
laughter,
good food,
me bumping into ben,
his cheek right there for me to kiss,
his hand right there to rest on my shoulder,
all four of us crowding in for a picture . . .

but that is not a plan i can make.
and the feeling of being there, in the moment of the picture
juxtaposed with the feeling of ben being so far away
sucked the breath right out of me.
my left hand ached,
pain radiating from the palm
into my ring finger
and then back into my palm,
through my wrist and up my arm
and i wrapped my right hand around my left ring finger
and breathed deep and deep and deep

and no thank you,
i don't want to count days,
i just want to make it through today . . .

and there will be a day when all four of us crowd in for a picture again

there will be

 

5 august 2021

wow.  i don't know why i decided that trying to write a blog post every day in august was a good idea.  but, i said i would.  so here i am.  writing.  

today i was so very tired.  

this morning i woke at six in my sleeping bag on the air mattress in the dispatch office and gave my briefing to the day-time dispatcher who arrived to take my place.

this morning when i arrived home, i hugged maddie and sent her off to work with my best wishes that she have a great day.

this morning i crawled into my bed and set my alarm for two hours.

this morning i got ready and headed to work where i documented donations, wrote letters, read and responded to emails, and prepped for an afternoon meeting regarding award platform set-up.

this morning i talked with beka for some time about how i just want to live with ben far more than i get to right now.

today i saw pictures a friend posted pictures of her walk - mountains, pine trees, grasses, rocks, sky . . . i commented - one day, i am going to live where i can just go for walks in the big out-there again . . .  

today ben had to / got to / come to miles city for some work errands.  we got food from the grocery store deli and ate lunch together under the cottonwood trees in the park to the sound of the cicadas' dull buzzing screams. 

later, before he had to go, i told him i hadn't seen his eyes.  he had his sunglasses on the whole time.  i didn't want to say goodbye without really seeing him.  he took his sunglasses off and i looked into his care-worn eyes.  all i really want just now is to go away with him somewhere where nobody needs anything from us, and the days are filled with rest and blue skies.  but that is not possible right now.  so i pressed my lips to his, breathed in, breathed in, breathed in, pressed his hand to my cheek, and prepared for him to drive away. 

this afternoon i was working on a project via zoom, when ben texted me that he wanted to swing by for one more kiss before he left town.  i told my zoom meeting host that i needed to step away for two minutes, and i met ben in the parking lot for one more hug and long, long kiss. 

this afternoon.

when i got home from work, there was a delivery for me.  a gift i ordered for myself.  two solar powered fairy lanterns and a book with the title Ragged.    both seem more than fitting for right now.  jars that will soak up the sunlight and then twinkle it back to me after dark.  a book that has a word for exactly how i feel right there on the cover.  a book that has the silhouette of a fraying rope on the cover.  a book that invites me to see discipline as a gift, not a heavy burden or a performance.  this book is for the one who, at times, resembles the man beaten, lying on the side of the road, needing to be bandaged and cared for far more than the proverbs thirty-one woman who apparently has it all together.  

this evening i met with two other members of our city finance committee for four and a half hours to work on budget planning.

tonight i ate toast at ten thirty, after cleaning up the kitchen with isaac.  

tonight i talked to ben on the phone and neither of us wanted to hang up.

tonight isaac came down and sat on the end of my bed until maddie came home and joined us.  all three of us laid on the bed and talked for an hour.  i am going to be so tired again in the morning (hello, one thirty a.m.), but i am also so glad that they hung out with me and that we talked and were just together.  i love those two so much.  

tonight, i am so very grateful for fairy lights and toast with blackberry jam, that i have a good job and that i can give to my city by filling a council seat, that i have books and books to enjoy and learn from and be inspired by, that i crave looking into my husband's eyes and that i have two teenagers who will lay on my bed and talk to me.  

tonight, i hope that you all are sleeping peacefully and that you will wake with the energy to go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.