bits of sunshine

beyond the middle of april

beyond the middle of april - and here i am - with a big hole in this blog where i meant to have post after post - almost thirty of them where there are currently zero

life has a funny way of taking what i mean to do and throwing all those intentions in the mixer - rumbling and roaring and tossing what i intended against all the raw reality of the lives mine is intertwined with - and sometimes my intentions work through the mix and are accomplished - and sometimes they are rubbed and twisted and rolled and stretched and cut and shrunk all at once into something i never would have imagined - 

so - here i am now - on the eve of april twenty-third - writing a little something - and leaving you all with some pictures of where i was blessed to walk today - i was with my three favorites and two others - but these pictures are of the big, wide open - i wish i could give you lungs full of the clear air, shoulders warm in the sun, hair lifted gently by the breeze, ears filled with air broken by the voices of sandhill cranes and pheasants and meadow larks, eyes open to the space and space and space - i wish i could fill you up with the same wide peace that i felt all afternoon - 

go gently, my friends, love fiercely, and be wonderful, 

love, e

sunflower

friends,

here is a summery sunflower.

i have been sick and my days have been full.

tomorrow is a new day.

there will be coffee and hopefully a less stuffy nose and eyes that don’t run and time for more words.

for now, go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.

love, e

 

sunday

this was my view this afternoon before i closed my eyes and slept for a few hours.  wow. did i get hit hard with some bug. i am a wreck of a weepy left eye and achy hips among other things i could whine about but won’t.  i’m staying home tomorrow and am not a bit sad about that.  

the sun was shining, but the temperature never got above zero today.  i’m so thankful for a furnace that keeps this little house warm and a pile of cozy blankets and b+m+i and all the kids who hung out at our place this weekend and good news from a good friend and encouragement to keep working hard and doing well.  

 

saturday mid-day desk transformation

the past few weeks, i kept stuffing things in my desk - a newspaper, and empty envelope, a bill, a letter, the new dental insurance cards, etc, and times one hundred.  i’ve known i need to pull all the things out and sort and throw away and respond to and pay and organize all of the things ... so, late this morning, after a hot shower and some hot coffee and my second list of thirty in march, i opened the desk and started in on the sorting.  i paid the bills, threw away the garbage, made a small stack of letters to respond to; i filed the papers that pertain to our house, cleared out the tax paper work, and made a plan for getting started on some dental/orthodontic work for the kids.  it is not lost on me, in fact, the gratitude brings tears to my eyes, that God has put us in this place, that ben and i have worked so hard to have jobs that allow me to pay the bills and plan the orthodontic work.  we have worked and moved and gone without and worked some more and done our utmost to live and act with integrity.  and here we are.  blessed and striving to be a blessing.  somewhere in the process of cleaning the desk and feeling the gratitude, i finished the pot of coffee.  and the sun shone in all day.  

ben was away for the day, teaching, but he’s home again now - so we will enjoy our evening together.  

maddie and isaac vacuumed and swept and took out trash this morning so they would be ready to have friends over for a hobbit marathon this afternoon.  i made pizza and french fries and my new peanut butter bars for them.  (wait.  who am i kidding? the bars are for me.  but i’ll share ...)

this day is definitely right up there on the list of favorite days ... the pace has been so easy, so even the “work” has been restful.  

i hope the rest of your saturday is peaceful and easy.  

with love, e

hello march

well, hello there, march.  i thought you were coming in like a lamb, you know, this afternoon, when it was 20 degrees outside and the snow was melting.  but, early evening, the temperature started to drop, and it started to snow, and the wind picked up, and, march, it appears as though you are coming in like a lion.  and that, well, i would say, that’s just fine with me.  so long as you decide to go out like a lamb, then.  

.. .. .. .. .. 

and, march, while you decide lion or lamb, i’m going to do some writing and some listing and some working and some playing and some learning and some reading and some listening and, maybe, some resting, too. 

also, i’m planning to do some exercising as many days as i can make it happen. i made it to the gym tonight.  a bit of running, a bit of rowing, a bit of weight lifting, some work for my heart and my muscles.  also, i’m gifting myself (at ben’s suggestion) some artificial sunshine.  and man, does 10-15 minutes of warm, warm light feel good.  

i’ll be listing on instagram with @30daysoflists and blogging here.  i think this is going to be a good, good month.  

.. .. .. .. ..

happy march, my friends.  go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful. 

hello on this last day of february

{out for a snowy, cold walk with ben and isaac}
{fresh haircut; i still cut my own hair.  i have for 8 years.}

{good words and coffee, always and ever.}
{more snow, more sunshine.  i document the sunny days . . . }
{purple, purple, and more purple birthday gifts for my sister.  she is one of my february people.}
{evening light and some favorite knick-knacks}
{winter blues - working on chasing them away with fruit and exercise and a few go-rounds in the tanning bed}
{more good words and coffee.  and chocolate.}

{more chocolate - find the recipe to this invention on my instagram.}

hello my friends,

and hello to this space.

i have been remembering when i used to feel terrible for missing one day of blogging . . . i posted pictures and wrote something almost every day for the first years of this blog . . . as life has moved along, my posting has become every more sporadic . . . and now, i have missed a full month . . . nothing from me here in january.  

that certainly doesn't mean that nothing is happening!  i do post something on instagram most days - little snippits and tidbits and bits of sunshine.  and that link should work whether you have an instagram account or not.  and i am telling myself that it is ok that i have not blogged so regularly over the past few years.  

but!  i am also reminded of how much i really do love to blog.  the act of taking pictures and choosing pictures to share is good for my mind, my heart, and my soul.  the act of putting words together and publishing them is also so good for my mind, my heart, and my soul. 

i am joining 30 days of lists for the month of march.  i will be writing in a beautiful journal that my mom made for my birthday last year, i will be posting on instagram, and i will blog here.  every day.  in march.  as a gift to myself.  

there will be coffee and treats, sunshine and grey skies, joy and certainly some bumps in the road, realness and rawness, gentleness and fierceness, evenings at home and evenings on the road, words read and words written, music and laughter, conversations and silence, hugs and kisses, and so many bits that make up a month - so many bits that will make up the month where exactly mid-way, i will turn from 38 to 39 - the month in which i will make a list of 40 things to do before i turn 40 (with a nod to a friend of mine who is ticking off her 40 before 40 - and that seems like fun!).

so - friends, here's to 30 days of pictures and writing.  

go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.

love, e

 

family pictures

it's that time of year. the time when all of a sudden i wish i had a really great picture of the four of us. you know, one the grandmas would want to hang on their fridges and one that really shows what we all look like to the friends and relatives we haven't seen in a while. a picture for the people who aren't on facebook or instagram. (yes, there are those people!) 

this year, one of our friends said she would take some pictures for us. and i am so grateful! yesterday we went across the street and we got some pretty great pictures - but why is it that my favorites are always the silly ones and the outtakes? i would just send those - but i know my mom and ben's mom will want pictures where they can see all of our faces . . . so i will go with one where we are all looking at the camera. but! i will also add two of the silly ones to our card. and i will post a little variety on social media. 

as i was choosing the pictures and making the card, i was struck by the fact that this will be the seventeenth christmas letter i have written as mrs. patten. this feels like some sort of milestone. i wonder if this is the last christmas picture where i will be taller than isaac? maddie is already quite a bit taller than me. maybe i will pull together a post of our christmas pictures through the years - that would be a fun trip down memory lane. for today - i am so very grateful for all these decembers, for all these years, and for the three wonderful people i get to call my own.

a rambling 39th birthday post for my very best friend

today. november 30. this is right up there with the very best day ever. because today is ben's birthday. today is the day, 39 years ago, that my very best friend was born. holy smokes! i love him so!! i know he's not too sure about this adding numbers to his age thing, but it's ineveitable, babe - time passes, and years are added, and we keep doing this wild ride together! i don't ever want to know what it would be like to not be adding to the years with you. i'm so grateful for every minute, day, and year with you! 

i was looking back over my blog, and found that i haven't always written ben a birthday post.  i haven't always been able to buy the birthday presents i'd like to buy for him. life is crazy and hard, but it's wonderful and is so, so much better because ben and i get to do it together.  

17 years ago, we were newly married and i wanted to do something nice for ben's birthday.  before our wedding, he had been saying that it was silly that the bride-to-be gets all the parties and gifts. for every bridal shower, there should be a groom's bath. so, for his birthday, i bought a couple sets of tools and wrapped each screwdriver and wrench and hammer separately, in LOTS of paper, and filled the tub with a toolbox and all these individually wrapped tools. then i hung a happy birthday banner over the tub. so, when he got home from work and headed to the bathroom, there was his birthday bath. 

i have gotten to celebrate 17 of ben's 39 birthdays with him - it will be a pretty amazing thing when i can say that i have celebrated half of his birthdays with him! we'll have to keep adding to the years, to the number, for that to happen. {winking at you and and nudging you, babe.} there is good - lots of good - in adding to the years. we'll keep filling the years with more and more good. keep adding good things, one at a time, until that's all there is room for. 

ben, you're the best person i know.  in so many ways.  no one else that i know loves more fiercely, speaks more sincerely, forgives more freely, hugs more tightly, acts with more integrity, works more wisely, problem-solves with more tenacity, or enjoys hobbies and fun and leisure with more peace of heart. 

ben, i can't think of you without thinking of the gift you are to me. i am blessed beyond measure to be your woman, your wife, your best friend, your co-parent (to the two wonderful kiddos we we made together and to as many kids as stop and stay under our roof), your sassy, your soft, your person.

and i am so grateful for you, my man, my husband, my best friend, my co-parent (the one who finds ways to say things to the kids that i would make a mess of), my calm, my rock, my person.

happy birthday, my love!  happy, happy birthday.

about a chair

a few years ago, my neighbor gave me the pieces of a wood-framed arm chair and two random couch cushions covered in tan fabric with blue pineapple print.  

all of the pieces got stashed in my basement.  i was planning to put the chair together and reshape and recover the cushions . . . and then we were packing up to move . . . and we used the cushions to protect other furniture in the u-haul and left the wooden frame pieces in the basement.  

this summer, ben and i took a trip back to the old place to pick up our piano (which we had not moved in january in the -30 F weather we were experiencing), and i decided to bring the pieces of the chair with if we had room in the truck.  there was room!

 a few weeks ago, ben and isaac put the chair together for me!  ben and i bought a few random bits, ben cut a few pieces of wood, we stained a couple pieces to match, ben ripped out the old spring bottom and replaced it with plywood, we removed the chipped wooden castors and replaced them with self-leveling chair feet, isaac helped screw some pieces together, and ben ground off the screw that was too long . . . 

once we brought the chair inside, i cut the cushions to fit. 

two days ago, i invited my friend ashley to come help me start cushion covers.  i knew that if i had someone to talk to while i cut the fabric and got started that i would stick with it and finish.  so, on tuesday afternoon, we started the cutting.  we also laughed about a shared history of working on sewing projects late into the night.  this project didn't seem like it would take more than an hour or two, so i was certain that i would have it done by late afternoon. 

after ashley left, it was so nice outside, that i decided to take a walk.  then i ended up running my kids here and there and making supper and resetting the guest room.  at some point in there, i finished the cutting and tidied away the excess.  i set up my sewing machine and in the evening and miracle of miracles, i had left it threaded!  even better, the thread never broke, the tension stayed consistent, everything went smoothly, and by midnight, i had the covers on the cushions and the cushions on the chair. 

and now, i have a cozy little spot to sit and read or chat or drink coffee.  i do know one thing - i'll be on the lookout for a little footstool to go with my chair.  (preferably one i don't have to recover . . . )

  

pumpkin scones

yesterday i had invited a friend over to visit and drink coffee and help me get a start on covers for chair cushions.  i decided that we should have a treat to go with our coffee.  i had a can of pumpkin in my cupboard . . . so i went looking on pintrest and found faithfully gluten free's pumpkin scone recipe.  of course, i had to make some modifications, because that's just how i roll.  and they turned out fabulously!  so, in the interest of not forgetting the modifications i made, and because i have promised the recipe to more than one friend, here is my version of the scones.

pumpkin scones with blueberries and spiced glaze

ingredients
3/4 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup gluten free flour mix (i use pilsbury)
1/4 cup tapioca starch
2 tsp xanthan gum
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp nutmeg
6 Tbs frozen butter
3/4 cup frozen blueberries
1/2 cup pumpkin puree
2 Tbs milk of choice
1 large egg

glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 Tbs milk of choice (or more, as needed for consistency)
2 Tbs melted butter

instructions
preheat oven to 425 degrees F
line baking sheet with parchment paper or grease baking sheet
dust lined or greased baking sheet with rice flour
whisk together all dry ingredients
grate the frozen butter (using a box grater) into the dry ingredients and stir until the butter is evenly distributed
stir in frozen blueberries
place this bowl in the fridge
in another bowl, whisk the wet ingredients together 
stir wet and dry together until the dough holds together
add a splash of milk if needed
handle the dough as lightly as possible - try to keep it very cold
turn the dough out onto the baking sheet
using plastic wrap or your butter paper press the dough out to about 1" thick
cut the dough into wedges or strips (however you want your scones to look) and separate slightly on the baking sheet
bake for 13-15 minutes (i think i had to bake mine for closer to 20) until golden brown (and done through)
remove from oven
cool while you mix up the glaze and until closer to room temp
generously cover scones with glaze
enjoy with your favorite warm beverage (pour over coffee for my friend and i yesterday)