bits of sunshine

3 december 2021

it gets dark so early now. it is 3:30 pm and already dusk. granted, clouds did roll in this afternoon, but at 1:15, it was so sunny, and now, 3:30 and heading toward dark. we have another eighteen days of shortening daylight. and then it always seems that we don't really feel the days lengthen until we are through january - even though the earth is continually tilting, be it ever so slowly. the way the earth tilts away from the sun is such a strange phenomena. here in montana, we live far enough to the north to really feel the shortening of days. and whoever the decision makers are with the whole daylight savings thing make this darkness set in even earlier. i'd be all for doing away with daylight savings and just going with straight time all year round. seems like all of us would have happier bodies and minds without the twice-a-year switch.

we have had some sickness to fight in our house these past few days - and i feel like i really need to cook us some veggie-filled meals to help bolster our immune systems. maybe a stir-fry is in order tonight or tomorrow - if i have enough energy to chop and fry . . . maybe frozen veggies this time - just because they are already chopped. 

the other morning, the sky put on such a display. i am quite certain the light and the color were a happy birthday wish for ben, and also, that the maker of the whole sky and all of this was sending a blessing to all of us in this in-between sort of time between fall and winter, between thanksgiving and christmas, between night and morning, between longer days and shorter, and whatever all we might find ourselves in between. 

a few weekns ago, a friend asked a question on her facebook - to really know you, what is one thing i need to know about you?

so, i started typing an answer:

i speak or write to find out what i think . . . it is hard for me to process things in my head . . . i need to see or hear the words in order to process . . . so, sometimes, what i say or write initially is hard or extra passionate or some kind of extreme . . . but even if i sound adamant and domineering, i am truly open to having conversations that make me think differently or more broadly.

 

and i thanked her for the question, because in typing those words, i literally just completed a thought that i have been trying to form about myself.

 

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and now - two more thoughts on gratitude.

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as we express our gratitude,
we must never forget the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live them.
~jfk

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you will be enriched in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion,
and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
this service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people
but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.
2 corinthians 9:11-12

9 november 2021

gratitudes today ::

the cup of fresh, warm coffee my friend stacy brought me tonight when she picked me up for our city council meeting

a friend who shares clothes 

sunshine on a day that i thought was forecast to be cloudy

my tuesday morning meeting group

reasons to be up and away from my desk often today

sweet potatoes

people who offer sincere compliments

friends who ask hard questions and have real conversations

finding ways to share our home

all four of us plus one at home, ready to settle in for the night

 

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being thankful is not always experienced as a natural state of existence,
we must work at it, akin to a type of strength training for the heart .
– larissa gomez

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but thanks be to God,
who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession,
and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.
2 corinthians 2:14

2 november 2021

this month is full, full, full

but a lot of the things are going to be very happy things

some paid days off {for ben and me}

some days off school {for madi and isaac}

a choir concert {that madi will sing in}

a rock concert {to be preformed by some schoolmates - our tickets are purchased!}

the first hockey games of the season {that isaac will play in and ben will coach}

ben's birthday {not his 43rd, as he keeps telling me - i don't know why he wants to add a year?}

thanksgiving {accounting for some of the days off and reminding us to be thankful always}

the 20th wedding anniversary of b+e {yes. that says 20. ben and i just keep looking at each other and commenting on this fact in amazement.}

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at times our own light goes out
and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us.
–albert schweitzer

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"you will be enriched in every way
so that you can be generous on every occasion;
your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."
2 Corinthians 9:11

 

1 november 2021

november first

sitting in the living room at number six twelve, finding coziness on a cool fall evening

thinking about making some lists this month

november and a focus on gratitude seem to go hand in hand -
so, this morning, i wrote on a post-it write a gratitude list every day this mornth

here is a list for the first day of novebmer:

* i have been doing my job at miles community college for a whole year

* i have been a city council person for a whole year

* we have had the cozy furniture and rug and our favorite artwork hung on the walls in our living room for a whole year now {and i am thinking about what little projects i might want to do next . . . maybe with some black paint . . . we'll see . . . adding little touches and doing projects to keep making this house our home is a joy to me}

* good, good news for ben today

* madi and isaac together downstairs watching a movie - and i can hear the low runble of isaac's voice and the lilt of madi's laugh - hearing my kids talk together is one of my very favorite things

* the beauty of changing leaves and a changing season

* a full november calendar - there are many things to celebrate this month {that list is coming tomorrow}

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happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
–denis waitley

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"do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation,
by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
and the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
philippians 4:6-7

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and on into november we go. 
go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful, my friends.

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also - you are welcome to join me this month, if you wish, in listing your gratitudes - in the comments here on my blog, on facebook, on instagram, in your journal . . . however you choose. 

one option for naming your gratitude this month is to join a community of gratitude listers here, with michelle, who is a gracious and welcoming facilitator - i always love the prompts that michelle offers and the connections that she fosters. click on over and join gratitude week {november 8 - 14} as michelle's gift to any of us who would like to turn our attention to gratitude. i just signed up. 

 

day 25

this is day 25.  that means the 21-day assignment is over and today is the last day of travel.  that means that this evening, we will all 4 be home together!  

before ben left, i asked for a picture of all of us together.  they humored me.  

12.16.19

breathe - so many times in a day i remind myself to breathe.

when i step outside - breathe deep - and feel-taste the air.  lately, it has been breathes of cool, damp air.

when i have been sitting for a while - working at my computer - a deep breath - filling my lungs all the way to the bottom.

when i am standing up to stretch - breathing deep into all my muscles.

when i think about the list of work to-dos and meetings this week - a breath to remind myself that even though the calendar is full, i can take a moment to breathe, to drink coffee, to look out the window, to walk the long way, to connect with people.

when i take a moment to read some thoughts about advent, about christmas, about joy and light - a deep breath to invite the merry and bright, the good news into the core of my being.  

when i count gratitudes - a deep breath - gratitude for breath and life and health.

when i wish that i could spend days during this season with some far-away family and friends - a deep breath to remind myself that i will send my love, i will make the phone calls, i will text the pictures, i will connect in the ways that i can this year.  

when i am with ben and maddie and isaac - a breath to remind myself to savor the moments, to mark the goodness and make memories.

and when i lie down at night, a deep breath to settle in, to invite rest. 

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here's to deep breaths and joy and merry and bright, my friends.

go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.

love, e

evening drives

ben and i got to take some evening drives late this summer.  i don't know if there is much that i love more than to hop into the truck with ben, roll the windows all the way down, and let the breeze blow through the cab as he points the truck away from town, out into the wide, wide open, out where the air smells of dry dirt and pungent sage and piney juniper, out where i can see and see and see. 

he drives along.  we sometimes talk.  we sometimes listen.  sometimes i leave the console flipped down and we use the cup holders for coffee cups or iced tea.  sometimes i flip the console up and slide over, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder, and lean into my man.  if we are on a way back road and there is no other traffic, if we are moving along nice and slow, i might look up at him and catch his eye, he might lean over and steal (or is give the right word?) a kiss. 

one night when we were out, there were flowers that caught my eye.  ben pulled over and handed me his phone, with an app he had just downloaded called picture this, and told me to try it out.  i did.  the flowers that had caught my eye are adonis blazingstar - i love that i know their name. 

another evening we saw antelope - bucks and does and young.  we saw two mule deer does with spotted twins right up by the road who went bounding away as the truck came close - leaping clover and fences and then turning to look as we moved on by.  we saw owls and owls and owls.  swooping and diving and rising into the night sky. 

then there was the evening he took me to what felt like the very top of eastern montana.  we drove north in direction and up in elevation until i felt as though i should certainly be able to touch the sky.  and the mule deer's antlers seemed to be tangled up in the colors of the sunset.

on those drives, we watched the moon coming up and the sun going down and the sky dancing with a riot of colors and clouds. 

and we returned home, expanded and filled up and over-brimming with beauty.

gratitude five ways

what does gratitude sound like? cottonwood leaves clicking on the breeze, hymns played and sung, laughter

what does gratitude feel like? a hand pressed to a loved one’s face, arms wrapped tight in a hug, an open hand and heart - giving good gifts 

what does gratitude smell like? the clearest of air with a hint of sun-warmed leaves or sage or pine

what does gratitude taste like? cookies or bread or coffee cake - homemade, and given with joy

what does gratitude look like? a smile, a sparkle in the eye, maybe the tiniest tear shining on an eyelash, the absence of tension, joyful abandon 

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thanks to michelle for the gratitude week writing prompt

gratitude feels like sunshine

it is monday morning, just an hour till lunchtime, and i am sitting in a high school classroom.  i was grateful to find a whole wall of windows - outside of which the wind is trying to tear the last leaves off the cottonwood branches and fling them into the cold, grey sky.

i am hoping that november beats october's count on sunshine-y days - october began with a string of cloudy days, then allowed us fourteen sunny days in a row, before the clouds rolled in again and have stayed into this fifth day of november.  

my kids sometimes tease me about wanting {needing} sunny days - but i ache when i am not warm, and nothing warms me like the sun on my face, on my shoulders, on my jacket, through my windows.  nothing else eases the ache in my bones quite like the sun.  blankets and coffee, a soft sweater and the heat turned up help, but don't soak in and ease the ache they same way as sunshine.  

i am following along with michelle's gratitude week - for the fourth year in a row!  today, her prompt asked can you feel gratitude in your body?  where does it rest?  i am here, slightly chilled, my fingers working through their coolness to type these words.  and i am certain that gratitude feels like sunshine.  if i think about what i am most grateful for, it is almost like sitting in the sun.  the practice of gratitude reminds me to slow my thoughts, to take deep breaths, to relax my shoulders, to unclench my jaw, to smile.  the sun does the same.  

this morning

this morning i got up at 6:20 and turned on the lamp in the den, walked up the stairs, turned on one lamp in the living room, and turned the thermostat up so the heat would kick in.  i thumped back down the stairs, and crawled back into bed for fifteen more minutes.  

at 6:45, i got up for good, pulled on wool socks and a sweatshirt, and went to say good morning to isaac.  as he headed for the shower, i headed to the kitchen to start the oven and cook up some hashbrown squares topped with cheese and ham for the kiddos for breakfast.  i poked my head into maddie's room (even though last night she said i didn't need to check on her in the mornings . . . i just didn't want her to be late . . . ).

i watched this sweet little short, just because, and then answered a few comments on my instagram and facebook posts from yesterday.  

isaac came up and ate his breakfast while i made a sandwich for him to put in his lunch bag.  as the kids finished getting ready, maddie asked if she could drive her and isaac to school - i checked the weather, it looked like it should be fine weather for a walk to the library mid-morning, so i let her take the car.   

after they headed out, i got myself ready for the day.  then i made my bed, then isaac's bed, then looked at maddie's bed - but it is covered in blankets and clothes and random things . . . so i just picked up some things i could see needed to be washed, left the bed, and took my pile to the laundry room.  

at this point, it was raining/sleeting/snowing - so much heavy wet - and i realized that walking to the library was not what i wanted to do.  so i sat down at my desk and made some notes for the work i need to do.  then i answered some text messages before i began to sort out a few items on my desk.  

i went though a notebook and an old Bible study book and took the few things i wanted to save and glued them into my journal right then.  i added a few bits of washi tape, because washi tape makes me happy.  i threw the excess and edges away.  then i pulled out another Bible study book that i had been working through last spring.  i had missed filling in a few days of the work one week and three days of the last week of study, so i decided that i would work on finishing the book.  

i love having prompts for digging into the Word, and catalysts for thought processes and connections.  the first section i chose to work on today speaks directly to my situation, my moments, my right-now.  and this does not surprise me.  God is good like that.  His Word is living and active and does not return void.  it is milk and honey and bread and meat.  ever and always, He sustains and gives good gifts.  His timing is perfect.  i worked a good way into the lesson i picked up, wrote notes in the margins, read the scriptures, let God speak to my heart, conversed with Him, filled my mind with thoughts to mull over and be encouraged by as i continue this day and the work of this day.

at noon, maddie called to say she and some friends were on the way to our house for lunch.  i stepped out to the kitchen to tidy up a bit and made buttered toast while maddie warmed up soup.  as the three kids ate, i did the dishes and wiped down counter and stovetop.  each kiddo put their dishes into the dishwasher as they finished, so we have a clean kitchen to make supper in this evening.  everybody ate a few oatmeal raisin cookies (so glad i baked them last night!), then i grabbed what i needed, drove them back to school, and headed to the library.

the afternoon will be filled with writing.  and hopefully, the writing i do this afternoon will bear fruit that will nourish me, my family, and many, many others.  

two benedictions for the afternoon:

the Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.                   
                                                                                            Numbers 6:24-26

and

go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.

with love, e