bits of sunshine

some sort of school at home

Some of you know that I used to homeschool my kiddos.  Kindergarten through the middle of fourth grade for Maddie, Kindergarten through the middle of third grade for Isaac. 

I am so grateful that we chose that for the years that we did.  There were really good days and  good ideas, and there were really hard days.  But, we did those days together, and I love the memories that we made.  

And now - now we are in this twilight zone that is COVID-19 shelter-in-place or self-quarantine or social distancing.  And we all have our kids home, whether we would have chosen that or not.  And some of us are looking at how in the world to keep our kids doing their school-work, whether they want to or not.  Some of it looks a whole lot like this:

So, I'd like to offer some ideas, for all of us who are suddenly facilitating school at home:

*For the actual work - google and YouTube. Can you find a YouTube video that shows what they need to do on their assignment or worksheet? Let them watch it, then complete their assignment or worksheet.  Maybe you can find the exact assignment or worksheet - that would be super cool. Let them totally work right along with someone else doing their work.

*Pair up with another parent and FaceTime each other's kids to help with homework. I have spent about 20 minutes or half an hour with a friend's son on FaceTime two days last week and again today helping him with Algebra. Somehow, someone who is not the actual parent is easier to listen to, I think. It's working in this scenario! He's getting it and applying what we work on together to the other problems he has to complete.  Pretty sure that both he and I feel good about this.

*Maybe, for you with elementary aged kids, you could find a high schooler for your kids to FaceTime with - maybe your little could show the big kid what they are working on for school work and the big kid could help and/or encourage.

I know there is a plethora of schedules out there - and often, other people's schedules just make me feel like a failure . . . I am going to offer the one I made for my two teens here, and you are allowed to copy it, or laugh at it, or roll your eyes at it, or use it as a jumping off point for your own.  BUT, you ARE NOT allowed to let it make you feel like a failure.  That being said, here it is:

Also - I know that keeping kids on task can be horrible.  I know it.  I can't give you advice on how to make that work.  Maybe using the ideas I listed above will help.  Maybe it won't. 

One thing for you moms who find yourselves yelling and then hating that you yelled - one thing that always worked with my son (when he was little, and still, now that he is 15) - is looking directly into his eyes when I need him to hear me. I would say, "Isaac, look at my eyes," and I would wait for eye-contact before I proceeded to tell him what I needed him to hear. I still do this. He doesn't hear what I tell him when he's not looking at me.

I actually did this when I was teaching (I taught for a year at a country school) and when I was subbing at school (which I did for three years). I would have the class look at my eyes when they had gotten off-task - and once they were looking at my eyes, I would relay the next piece of information.  Something about eye-contact changes the way we interact.  

Maybe for a day or two, the school-work just needs to be set aside.  Read a book, watch a movie, play a game, get outside.  (If you are home and can do this with them, great.  If you are still going to work and they need to do this on their own, great.  If you are working from home and have to get your stuff done while they do theirs, great.)  

And if all else fails, let your kids fail their assignments.  It's their work, not yours.  If you facilitate to the best of your ability, you've done your part.  You can't do the work for them, whether they are 5 or 15.  Take a deep breath, do what you deem best, and let your kids show you what they are capable of. 

Last thought for today:  Ask for help if you need it.  Ask a friend.  Ask your kid's teacher.  Ask your friends on Facebook.  Ask google.  Ask YouTube.  Our kids can learn a lot from us when they see us ask for help.  They get to learn that asking for help is an acceptable way to gather the tools we need to accomplish a task. 

We can do this, my friends. 

Go gently, love fiercely, ask for help, and be wonderful. 

love, e     

 

chocolate brioche pretzels

three days ago, as i was spending some time on IG, a post from @shannanwrites caught my eye - a picture of chocolate brioche pretzels.  she said to google the recipe from @smittenkitchen and that if you have a stand mixer and a packet of yeast, you are are good to go.  

i had both, and a good dark chocolate bar, and i thought i'd try this with non-dairy milk and gluten-free flour.  so on saturday afternoon, i got down to business.    

there is some wait-time, while the dough rises.  enough time to wash up and read a good book or go for walk or take a nap.  

and the shaping was easier than i thought it might be. 

and you know what?  they turned out pretty well!  not as airy as wheat flour dough - but yeasty and tasty.

i will make them again - next time maybe with cinnamon and raisins.  

have you been baking?  i hope so!

hold it all loosely

if you know what it's like to hold all the plans and expectations loosely, because at any moment, things may change, you'll be ok. 

if you don't, you can learn, and you'll be ok.

if you've never worked in healthcare, the idea of singing a song while you wash your hands has maybe never occurred to you before.  now, you've been introduced to the concept.  

you may have a loved one in hospice care and are not able to visit.  you may have postponed a wedding.  you may have a friend or relative with a new baby that you want to meet.  

human connection is necessary.

you may be feeling helpless.

you may have a tournament or a presentation or a really important meeting that you have practiced and trained and prepared for that is just not going to happen.

you may have just completed the sign-up for a sport or a class and paid the fees and bought the equipment only to realize that the first weeks or the entire duration may not happen.  

you might have had the most wonderful vacation planned and are now not going.

you may be spending time at home with people you don't usually spend a whole lot of time with.  you might love this.  or you might need to learn how to love this.  or you might need to survive this.  

you may find yourself feeling like this a great time to reset.  you may feel peaceful or even energized.

you may find your self feeling anxious, about the physical affects of the virus, about the dramatic change to so many things that had been normal parts of life, about your current situation, about the situations of others.  

you may find yourself angry and feeling like there is a whole lot of over-reacting going on.  

you may believe the conspiracy theories (you might have one of your own).

you may be slightly sick and feeling crummy.

you may be one of the people still going to work.  this may make you feel super glad or super strange.  

you may be working from home and feeling like your workload is even heavier than if you were going to the office.  

you might not be able to work now, and you may be wondering just how long the money from the most recent paycheck will last.

i don't believe that there is one of us who isn't affected in some way.  i don't believe there is anyone of us who doesn't have something we have had to let go of.  

i know that for us, for our kids, this is par for the course.  it doesn't make it easy, but it isn't uncharted territory.  the advice i would give, is feel the feels.  let yourself navigate the sadness, anger, loss, anxiety, all of the feelings.  and then look objectively at the situation.  count some blessings.  look for the glimmers of good.  and give yourself a good pep talk.  know that you can make it through and come out even better. 

something i tell myself (and friends in tough situations) is, let yourself have a day.  cry if you need to.  stomp and yell if you need to.  feel really, really bad.  but don't unpack and live there.  move on.  don't let the low day win.  you win.  you flex your muscles and do the hard things.  and find the next joy.  there will be more joy. 

hold your plans and expectations loosely, and look for the glimmers of joy.

go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful.

love, e