yesterday afternoon, i was thinking about writing a blog post, and i was thinking about how i have not blogged much in the past few years, and why . . .
i do use instagram, and post there almost daily. find me @bits_of_sunshine
but, an instagram post isn't a blog post. it is a different platform. one i like. but one where i miss the opportunity to post pictures that i would think will be viewed in a larger format, and one where i miss the opportunity to put fingers to keyboard and type more words much more quickly than i can with just my thumbs on my phone.
so . . . thinking about why i don't blog as often . . . when i started blogging, i was home every day with my kiddos. they were little, their stories were my stories were their stories were my stories. i wasn't working 40+ hour weeks outside my home. ben was home every evening and weekend. i was really starting to think through a lot of ideas and opinions and starting to form variations on the ones i grew up with and beginning to form altogether new ones. facebook wasn't the thing it is now. there was no instagram, no snapchat, no lots of things.
now, here i am, with two teens, a husband who is stationed away from home for a good portion of the year, a 40+ hour a week job, and years of evolving thought processes and all kinds of experiences that make up my story, but that involve so many others . . . and what parts of those stories are truly mine to tell . . . and what parts of those stories aren't mine . . . and where. is. that. line?
this evening, as i was mulling this over again, i popped onto instagram and read a post by candace @myheartinasquare where she wrote that she had written a post about her and one of her daughters and she had it all ready to post . . . she had it all wrapped up and tied with a bow, then she ripped off the bow and retied and ripped off . . . and isn't this mothering? and writing? and living? . . . i have the answer, then i don't, then i do, then i do and don't - both at the same time . . .
this is blogging for me . . . but, my friends, i miss blogging. and i keep coming back to it. and maybe, just maybe, i'll get into a rhythm of posting more often. because the time that isaac and i spent yesterday at lunch, looking back through old blog posts, remembering together - i need that, my heart needs that. my blog as catalyst for memory is really, really important to me. so. here goes nothin'. or somethin'.
and in the meantime - go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful, my friends.