right now, after a full day of driving maddie to school and grocery shopping and being thankful that isaac is on day two of no headache and thoughts and a jeep ride with ben and conversations and a veterans day program and a walk in the wide open with chaco and supper and dishes done, right now . . .

i am sitting here, in the room that ben thought we should start arranging for me to write and sew and work in - a space to be me

i have music playing - music i chose to listen to

i have a rose on the windowsill from ben

i have paper and tape and scissors and pens

i have books and books and more books waiting to be arranged on bookshelves that ben will help me put up tomorrow

i have ideas for christmas gifts - that i will start working on in the next week or two

i have been looking at wonderful pictures and reading through lists of gratitudes

i am letting my mind rest