i opened the door for a breath of fresh air
then i turned back inside
i realized that i needed to focus on small things
just this and that
here and there
just when i think that i have something figured out
that i might just get to settle into a routine
it all changes
i got in the shower so i could cry
and work out my trust and unbelief
and grasping onto hope
without my children having to see and wonder and worry
and i cried
and i prayed
and i repeated out loud what i know
i know God has a plan
that He is working out
that includes us
and is for our good
it's just that right now
what i thought played a part in it
doesn't anymore
but He can see way more than i
and His ways are best
and right
and true
so i chose resolve
and trust
and even joy
and really, though another change isn't what i was wishing for at all,
i'm looking forward to what is in store for us
i'm wondering just what it is that lies around the bend . . .
and now, my friends,
i'm going to click "publish"
not "delete"
with love,
~e
p.s. i did ice-skate today and read and sip coffee while talking over ideas with my husband