i had a house full of boys today. my socks and the littlest's matched. it was fun. and loud. and busy. and energetic. and totally without feminine emotions.
i mentioned miss maddie yesterday. and a couple of you wondered if this is some sort of pre-hormonal change thing. ben and i are pretty sure it is. we've said, for quite some time, that we know what she's going to be like when she's pms-ing. she has bouts of serious melancholy. but the bursting into tears at the drop of a hat is new. new and somewhat scary to me. i don't know this weepy maddie. i'm trying. and so is ben.
ben asked her the other night if she's feeling funny about not being a little kid any more. she shook her head with great conviction and said yes and started to cry. i held her on my lap and ben and i talked and talked with her. and tried to reassure her. we told her all the things we love about her, just as she is, right now, while she's eight years old.
so. i'm trying to treat her as an eight-year-old. but i've never had an eight-year-old before. i don't want to treat her as if i expect her to be too old. but i don't want to treat her like a little kid anymore. she is growing and learning and is amazing. she is intuitive and helpful and smart and lovely. but she's still my little girl. my only little girl. my favorite little girl.
she's absolutely wonderful.
and God entrusted her to my care and ben's. and He won't leave us groping and grasping, empty-handed.
He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11
i'm prepared to change course throughout the day as often as needed here, to help my maddie-girl have a happy heart. she usually shines with joy. i'm going to do my best to listen to her worries and fears, but to encourage and foster a spirit and attitude of joy and peace.
this parenting thing is ever a learning-curve. and i long to keep learning. to keep my heart and mind open to my daughter and my God. He who created us both will bring understanding. i am confident of this. and my prayer is that we will both grow in grace and love.
{july 2009 - just because}