i am sitting in a quiet house
ben just left for work
my kiddos are still sleeping
we've been getting up together for breakfast, but today we let them sleep in
i think they need it
so, ben is off for the day
i have a fire roaring and cracking
my fingers are starting to thaw enough to type
i have a cup of coffee beside me
i'm wrapped up in the quilt i made for ben
and i'm here, saying hello to you
good morning, my friends
these last three weeks have found me stepping out of _way outside of _ my comfort zone
i wrestled and cried and prayed and shouted
and thought and wrote and read and cried some more
until i came to a place of peace
and i have stepped without animosty, very gently, very carefully, quietly, slowly
allowing, by the grace of God, forgivness and mercy and peace to reign
i have not stepped alone
do not be afraid, do not be dismayed, I am with you wherever you go
and ben is so good to me
and is a living, breathing reminder that
God is even more good to me
He offers so much mercy and grace
and i just have to trust and rest
the kids' memory word right now is
peacefulness: resting in the all-sufficient care of God
and the verse is John 16:33
I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you WILL have trouble.
But, take heart! I have overcome the world.
when isaac recites this, he is so animated
it's awesome to hear
the WILL and the take heart!
there is no question that isaac believes that Jesus has overcome this world and all it's trouble
then there's the music we have been listening to
it's on, filling my head, calming my heart
. . . you tell me life will not be pain free
but what will be will always be in your control . . .
. . . you are stronger than any terrible possible scenario . . .
. . . and after the storm, run and run as the rains come
and i look up, i look up
on my knees and out of luck, i look up . . .
. . . must know life to see decay, but i won't rot
not this mind and not this heart, i won't rot . . .
. . . don't let your eyes get used to darkness, the light is coming soon
don't let your heart get used to sadness, put your hope in what is true . . .
. . . no matter how the wind may blow, it cannot shake the sun . . .
. . . your loving father carries his children when they can't walk any more . . .
. . . when my world is shaking, heaven stands . . .
. . . there'll come a time, you'll see with no more tears
and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears . . .
. . . that's why i hold, that's why i hold with all i have . . .
. . . awake, my soul, for you were made to meet your maker . . .
. . . it's not the long walk home, but the welcome i recieve . . .
. . . . . .
more later, my friends.
love, ~e