bits of sunshine

december 7 :: sweet treats, good words, and joyful music

some merry and birght ideas and offerings for you on this saturday morning

❄️ .: for eating :. ❄️

my mom makes date balls for christmas every year, and i'm certain that her mom made them every year, and maybe my great-grandma did, too? i'm not sure. but i make them now, and i think you might like them, too!

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recipe for date balls (with an adaptation for making them into energy bites)

in a saucepan on medium heat, cook together 6 TBS butter, 1/2 c brown sugar, and 1 cup chopped dried dates. cook and stir until the dates have cooked down and the brown sugar has dissolved and you have a carmelly, sticky, gooey mixture. in a separate bowl, crack an egg and beat it slightly, and mix in 1 TBS of any milk and 1 tsp vanilla extract. add this to the date mixture and stir and cook this for 2 more minutes. remove your saucepan from the heat, cool just a bit, and stir in 3 1/2 - 4 cups of crisped rice cereal. (or some combination of crisp rice cereal and chopped nuts and seeds). shape into balls and roll in shredded coconut (my mom uses sweetened, i use unsweetened). store in the refrigerator, and serve just cooler than room temperature. 

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and a toast topping to try:

toast with butter, mashed avocado, honey, sea salt and freshly cracked pepper - such a rich, warm combination.

and the other day, i put peanut butter and honey on my toast, and then a sprinkling of black pepper over that - surprising! delightful!

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❄️ .: for reading :. ❄️

Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo

my friend liz gifted this book to maddie many christmases ago, and it is one of my favorites to read at christmas-time. 

hear it read, if you would like. though it is a children's story, i love it so much!

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and, Margaret Wise Brown's poem I Like Snow, from The Friendly Book 

i like snow
cold snow
slow snow
white snow
icy snow
i like snow
snow falling softly with everything still
white in the blue night, white on the sill
white on the trees on the far distant hill
with everything still
i like snow

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❄️ .: for listening :. ❄️

Luminary by Joel Sunny 

music with video here and music on spotify here

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and, if you have spotify, here are my three favorite christmas playlists

Christmas Joy

and 

Christmas Stillness

and 

Let It Snow!

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❄️ happy saturday, friends! cheers to moments that are merry and bright! ❄️

 

 

 

 

december 6 :: five things hush

the word hush
ah. what a lovely way to start this friday morning.

hush feels like
a poem
and a prayer
an invitation to peace

• hush in a beautiful sanctuary
• hush walking over soft moss
• hush as my dear one drifts off to sleep, lashes resting on cheek
• hush as the last lovely notes shimmer, filling my soul with their grace
• hush as the candle burns down for the night, smoke tendrilling softly through space

 

 

and the pictures i took yesterday evening, both outside and in, have a hushed feeling about them

 

sending wishes for peace in amongst the hustle and bustle and busy
and moments where you are enveloped in spacious and soft hush, held and cocooned with gentleness

 

go gently, love fiercely, and be wonderful, my friends
love, e

december 5 :: five things tradition

tradition -
holidays and traditions are tricky for me
in fact, i am working with my therapist (i finally found the right one this fall!) on this very thing, right now.

the only holiday traditions that have stayed the same for all the years i have been married to ben -
we have made each other homemade valentines every year for 23 years
and i have sent a christmas card (picture and letter) every year since maddie was a baby
otherwise, everything else has had seasons -
based on where we live,
ben's and my work schedules,
and the kids' schedules,
based on how much money we had to spend,
or how creative we have had to be . . .
so . . .
i have a variety of holiday and birthday memories . . .
that come with layers of peace and melancholy,
immense difficulty and determined, gritty happiness . . .

the strongest thread of tradition is finding joy together

christmas traditions (the b+e+m+i version)
1. we always have a tree (but we never put it up on the same date - and we have had a v a r i e t y of kinds)
2. always there is christmas music - and usually some live music (a favorite memory is of when we attended the concordia college christmas concert, and another of attending a christmas carol at the guthrie theater)
3. we always have presents (though number, size, and day and time of opening are never the same)
4. there is always at least one nativity scene gracing our living space (this year eight, and a ninth i need to find a space for)
5. i always find something (and often lots of somethings) seasonal to read
6. i send a christmas letter and picture every year (except the year i sent a new-year card . . . )(will i send one this year??? i suppose i had better! i shouldn't break this tradition!)
7. for many years now, we do charcuterie and a variety of cookies as our christmas meal

and things i would like to add going forward (things we have done sometimes, but not every year)
1. attend a solemn, candle-lit christmas eve service (i think i know where we will go this year)
2. go driving on a dark evening, listening to christmas music, looking at christmas lights
3. attend a chorale or symphonic concert (i just purchased tickets for a candle-lit concert on december 18)
4. we bought fancy glasses last year and plan to do a christmas toast every year
5. give my grandkids a book (or books) every year. i bought books for brantley and jaxon for this year! this tradition has begun!

december 4 :: five things luminous

luminous - i like this word - it feels peaceful, it feels softly far-reaching like
moonlight on water
streetlights on a foggy evening
eyes filled with tears
the deep light of sunset
luminous feels muffled, hushed, and still

and then i thought of the word illuminated as related to luminous
though they have the same root, they have a different feeling when i sit with them
luminous shines out
illuminated is shined upon

luminous feels deep and reverent

luminous softens the darkness - it is not a piercing light

i thought also of the word luminary
and then i found the song Luminary - by Joel Sunny
(do yourself a favor - listen on spotify or youtube. it's beautiful)

and a luminary is a vessel for light -
i like the ones that are made of clay or paper -
that glow with the light from within -
and have a pattern of small openings -
used to illuminate the darkness with a soft glow
luminaries are often clustered together,
by an altar,
along a walkway,
lofted into the sky,
floated away on a river or sent from shore

thinking of a glowing clay vessel brings to mind these words:
we have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this treasure, showing that this all-surpassing power which fills us is from our Creator.

and finally - the photos at the beginning of this post -
the sky last night when i left work!
everything luminous in the sunset-light
the sky, all the clouds, the air itself - luminous
the faces and hearts of all who stopped to really see - illuminated

 

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photos by me. no filter. just my iphone.

scripture about clay vessels / jars of clay / 2 corinthians 4:7

december 3 :: five things sweet

the list i wrote in my journal at 07:11
five things sweet : right now :

1. the toast i just at with peanut butter + honey + fresh ground black pepper
2. the gently twinkling, bare-branch tree with tiny ornaments + just a few wooden snowflakes {and the sentiment behind why this tree, this year. the thought and care represented}
3. my grandma eva's candelabra on our table; that my mom gave it to me this year; and that ben lit if for our thanksgiving meal
4. the memories i am treasuring in my heart of celebrating ben’s birthday on saturday and our thanksgiving meal on sunday. the four of us cooking + sharing the meal + our conversations. what a sweet gift + blessing to have grown-up kids who want to be here + love each other + us, grown-up kids who we are so proud of
5. my coffee is not sweet {just black; the way i like it}

and a variety of things from some other lists of sweet things :

a full night’s sleep
stuffed dates
french toast
kiddo handwriting
cookies for breakfast

another list after walking at 12:30 : sweet gratitudes :

1. movement
2. deep belly breaths
3.sunshine - abundant, bright, warm
4. feeling alive
5. saying prayers for maddie and isaac {and feeling hopeful, joyful possibility for them both}

“the happiest people i know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments.”
                                                                                                                                — dieter f. uchtdorf                  

december 2 :: five things winter

i took it slow this morning. and spent some time with my journal and some markers and michelle’s wonderful prompts. i sipped my coffee and put pen to paper. 

and my lists became five times two, instead of lists of five, lists of ten    

first list is just what the word “winter” brought to mind

1. snow (because i live in the northern hemisphere, in the northern part of the u.s.)
2. cold, crisp air
3. short daylight; long, dark evenings
4. more time with ben
5. cozy evenings
6. cups of coffee, cups of tea
7. soft sweaters and wool socks (though i wear wool socks year round)
8. hoping for more days of sun (and fewer days of heavy, grey)
9. candles + twinkle lights
10. and this year, new fur ruffs for both ben + me, to add the perfect touch to our heaviest coats

the second list is titled “how i winter”

1.pick shows to watch  
2. walk outside as much as possible  
3. use the gym as needed
4. use a tanning bed as needed
5. take extra vitamin d  
6. make nourishing meals - sweet potatoes, salmon, wilted greens, pasta dishes, homemade cookies and breads and cakes and crumbles  
7. write - lists, letters, journal pages, social media posts  
8. craft (stitch and string beads)
9. practice piano and listen to so much music  
10. find connection 

and the third list is my intentions for this winter 

1. to meet each holiday with curiosity.
2. to choose a church where we will attend a christmas eve service.
3. to walk outside every day, no matter the weather, even if i just walk my short loop. but better if i do the three-mile walk. and even better if i walk at work and after i get home.  
4. to write every day.
5. to read some scripture every day.
6. to write more letters.
7. to relax and rest.
8. to call the climbing gym and the jujitsu gym and pick one to start.
9. to find a place to go snow-tubing with my family.  
10. to start the billings version of woo-hoo wednesday.  

and now, i’m here, quietly, in the spaciousness that winter offers, here in a new season with the approaching close of a calendar year. the new year is right around the corner. i’m going to close this one well.

 

december 1 :: five things red

the warm-up prompt for this week of making lists was to list five things red 

i opened a brand new notebook, and started:

1. the fine-line marker i used to write my list in my journal (a gift from a friend)
2. my christmas stocking, and a little hoop with the word “merry” stitched in it (from another friend), and the hats and coats on the gnomes i have peeking out from all sorts of places in my home for this winter season
3. noses and cheeks, in the cold winter air
4. two sections of books on my bookshelf
5. the blood in my veins and in yours - the same rich, warm river of life in all of us

and with that, december is begun ❤️

everything changes

everything changes.

no. some things change and some things stay the same.

they way we love each other never changes.

the way we are loved never changes.

but that’s not actually true.

the way we love each other grows and changes and encompasses more.

our hearts fill and stretch and crack and mend

and fill and stretch and crack and mend . . .

and if we are willing,

we learn, and let go, and relearn, and hang on,

and break

sometimes for sorrow,

and break

sometimes for beauty.

and in the breaking, we can stretch again,

and take in the people who come to us,

and hold who they are, just as they are,

and love bigger and more widely and deeply than we ever thought possible.

and it seems to be true that God loves each one of us like this.

the love of God is ever growing, ever willing,

holding tightly, letting go.

we like to say that God never changes. and that is comforting.

but also, everything made by God changes.

the plates of the earth are shifting,

mountains grow and crumble and erupt.

mighty oceans ebb and flow,

so that we find the remains of plants and sea creatures

in the middle of continents,

where now there is rock and dust, sand and meadow.

flowers bloom and wither and seed, die and grow again.

the universe is ever expanding,

the sky breaking open.

stars implode and explode and are born and die,

their dust finding its way to earth

to become part of the blossoms and mountains, and even part of us.

we are stardust and mountain stream, dessert sand and decayed bloom,

strands of dna from all of our ancestors

animated by the breath of God.

and God is ever over all and in all and through all

and so is ever changing, yet ever true.

Emmanuel. God with us.

breaking open the sky,

becoming flesh and bone.

Emmanuel. in every changing moment,

in every new breath

a thread from the ancient tying us to the infinite.

and so, we grow.

we break open.

we stretch.

we mend.

and each crack, each hurt, each sorrow,

each moment of beauty and pride and surprise

has the opportunity to be filled

with love,

with stardust,

with a new way of seeing,

with Emmanuel.

J5T :: friday :: december 8 :: soft

hello all, from a grey montana morning
the morning has softened . . . i woke to sleet - not soft at all.
but that has subsided,
and now it is just grey - softly grey

soft:

1. i am the soft to ben's hard : our home is the soft to his job
   (we talk about this a lot when he is out on a fire assignment, going fourteen or twenty-one days without a hug, without a chair to sit in, without a bed, without a table to eat at, without a shower, without a reprieve . . . sleeping in a tent - either on a cot or on the ground, eating off the tailgate of his truck, sitting on the ground or the tailgate or in his truck, using all the travel wipes and tricks for staying clean, danger always imminent, life-or-death decisions to be made daily or hourly or moment-by-moment, missing the softness of me and home.)

2. our bed - just the right mattress, just the right pillows and bedding, a soft landing when the world is hard

3. i love soft fabrics - it all needs to feel right on my skin

4. the way i feel when i sink into ben's arms

5. the soft light just before sunrise and the soft light of twilight

i love what michelle wrote, in her prompt to us, about softness equaling a willingness. a willingness to move past hard edges and rules and expectations of ourselves and others, willing to shift and shape and embrace blessings and and wonder and jollity (what a perfectly lovely and fun word!). the hardness, the grind, the gritty, the challenges will be there, but we can meet them with strength and softness.

with grace, i think.

i think that grace is strong and soft.

and in writing this, i am remembering a quote another friend posted some days ago

- accept grit. make pearls. lose them. -

and isn't that grace?
isn't that strength and softness?

we accept the grit - because it will come.
we make something beautiful from the grit - we do the work of softening the edges.
and then we let that softness, that beauty, out into the world for others.

 

so, dear ones, go gently (but sometimes, go stomping and roaring), love fiercely, and be wonderful.

 

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joining michelle and company, taking a holiday pause, making lists 

 

 

J5T :: thursday :: december 7 :: calm

for many years now, i have been joining michelle gd for some of her just five things offerings. for a week or two, michelle offers prompts, some thoughts, sometimes an essay or a poem or a quote, as a jumping-off point for some journaling. she also hosts a classroom space where those who are participating can share the lists they write and have a conversation around the prompt . . . it is really a wonderful thought exercise, and a welcome place to connect over thoughts and ideas that invite empathy, joy, perspective, reflection . . .

i used to struggle to get to five things with michelle's lists. often, three or four felt right to me.
now, i love the five.
but today, i made a list of six and one of seven . . . hmmmm . . .

upon first seeing the word calm this morning,
i wrote this first list:

1. the way i feel these mornings when i take an extra hour before i go in to work
2. doing house chores at my own pace . . . the sound of the washing machine, the satisfaction of clean surfaces, the welcome of plumped pillows and freshly made beds . . .
3. walking --- by the river or up in the wooded buttes or through the woods or over the prairie
4. being on - or in - the water
5. brushing sage through my fingers. pressing my nose to the bark of a ponderosa. holding a rock - this one, then that one - finding the one that fits my hand.
6. lighting incense or palo santo or a candle

then i read michelle's note . . . and jotted some of it in my journal . . . and then wrote

presence (as the starting point, and stemming from what presence feels like to me . . .
peace
calm
mindful attention
intention
spaciousness
abundance

thank you, michelle, for your invitation into calm.

and thank you to everyone who has shared their lists. i love the thought exercise and the connection of sitting with you in your thoughts, too.

 

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joining michelle and company, taking a holiday pause, making lists