I just read this post, and it is so much what I have been thinking about lately.
Some of you know that I am homeschooling my children. (I'm working on a post about that decision . . . for another day . . .). So, I am with my kiddos a lot. And I enjoy them so much. But this fall, we were getting strung out. We were involved in too many things. And I was rushing through our stories and memory work so we could rush through our reading so we could rush through our math so we could hurry out the door on time. And sometimes I'd throw in some hurried baking and a load or two of laundry. And things just felt out of control. Not very intentional.
So. Ben helped me decide that I needed to slow everything down. One big decision for us was that Maddie and I would take a break from Gymnastics for the rest of the winter. (Maddie had been in intermediates and I had been assistant coaching.) Maddie loves Gymnastics. So when I asked her what she thought about taking a break I thought she would be upset, ask to continue, be close to tears. Instead, she said, "That's a good idea, Mom." Whew. This frees up one morning and two afternoon/early evenings per week. Huge, I tell you. Huge. All those outdoor fun pictures from the past few days wouldn't have been possible if we were still doing Gymnastics.
We also cut back on some other things that I am involved in. This has allowed for more relaxed time in our house. Some more time for healthy meal making. And some more time for some projects that I've been wanting to get at. {We are rearranging all three of our upstairs rooms. (This is reminding me to take before and after pics to share!) So, I worked on going through Isaac's room, very thoroughly yesterday. The next project up there is to fill all his nail-holes and repaint.}
Anyway, Megan's 3 suggestions for intentional parenting are to 1.Create Time 2. Allow Space 3. Invite Connection.
I am Creating Time when I take my kids sledding or skating and decide that I will really play with them and that how long we stay doesn't matter. It's up to them. I am Creating Time when I really listen to Maddie read as many pages in her reading book (beyond what I've asked her to) and enjoy her learning new words and discovering story. I am Creating Time when I just get down and tickle Isaac until he is laughing so hard her can hardly say, "More, Mom! More!" So often in these last few weeks I have been Creating Time. What fun!
I am Allowing Space by deciding that Friday night is movie night, and other than that, the TV will not be on! We have been enjoying classical music as we work at writing and math. I am Allowing Space when I ignore the ringing of the phone in the middle of counting ostriches or a Memory Game.
And when done intentionally, all these moments Invite Connection. I love connecting with my children. I Invite Connection when I help Maddie thread a needle so she can embroider beside me and do something just like mom. I Invite Connection when I find the twist ties and make a harness and reins for Isaac's horses at his request. And I know that if I don't connect with them, someone else will. And I want that their first and most deep connections are with Ben and I and each other, so that when opportunity comes for other connections, they see them through the values that we hold as a family. Ben and I are trying so hard to foster healthy relationships for our children. I pray that they will avoid a lot of heartache later in life by growing a healthy sense of connection and relationship.
Megan's closing to her post was so thought provoking, I'm reposting it here ::
A few months ago, a friend emailed me a quote she found to be particularly inspiring - even if she did find this inspiration on a Starbucks cup! It's from author Noah benShea, and he says,"Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children’s children."
And really, that's what it comes down to, isn't it? Can you allow your mind to peek into the imaginary future? In your brightest, sunniest visions of the future, how do you want to see your children engaging with their children? Distracted by technology and multitasking away the sweetest days of life? Or perhaps you would rather envision them deliberately engaged in the miraculous work they are doing daily. Day by day, year by year, our children are learning how to parent by watching us. Terrifying truth, isn't it? But may we also be empowered in knowing that through small, simple acts of purpose, we can daily grow to be the parents we know and believe we can be.Go kiss your babies - deliberately - so they will kiss their children and their children's children, and so that you may kiss their children and their children's children.
